I'll take two Kathy's and a side of queso

I don't know if I've used this picture before, but I like it very much, so if I have, let's all pretend it's brand new.  Great.

So it's the day after Halloween and we're all crashing from our candy highs.  We all feel a little guilty for stuffing our faces with Mexican food for the second Friday in a row at lunch.  Oh, that's just me?  I'm the only one with queso guilt for consecutive weeks?  Okay then.  Now I'm embarrassed.

A friend of mine told me that I need to be a little more consistent with my blogging.  He said I need to write more on a schedule, so he can know when to expect my amazing thoughts to be put out on the interwebs.  I mean, really?  I cannot be contained.  I'm freakin' Maria.  How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?  He does, however, have a point.  So I'm going to aim for Monday & Friday blogs, with some Wednesday's sprinkled in for funsies.  Don't get your hopes up though...I'm not super dependable.

On this sugar-crash, sleepy-from-lunch-queso-Friday, I'm going to share two random, unconnected thoughts. In no particular order...

I'm a salty football fan at the moment.  Some might even say surly.  The Cowboys broke my heart so early this year, every game is met with a "meh," reaction.  Essentially, they stole my sunshine.  I'm also annoyed that both Texas Tech and Baylor are good.  Sure, they haven't played anyone, but neither have we.  And we still managed to lose.  We lost to a team that may not win another game...that's hard to do.  That takes effort.  I don't have my blind hope each week like in previous years.  Instead, I spend Sunday through Saturday morning preparing myself mentally that we will probably lose.  This is the worst. I'm just being Eeyore, looking for my tail.  Must find tail and knock this off.

So, this week we take on the mighty Fightin' Tortilla Throwers and their California Dreamboat head coach.  And before you get offended they do actually throw tortillas at Texas Tech.  No one has explained to me why, but it is their "thing."  People in Lubbock are weird, the Dixie Chicks taught me that.  I'd like to see a little soul-stomping by my Cowboys Saturday night.  Crush their spirits, ruin their season, make pretty boy cry.  We can all just mute it and pretend he's just revealed how much he loves Rachel McAdams.  Win, win for everyone.  Except Tech.  No win for Tech, that's the goal.  See how quickly I turned my attitude around?  It was just a matter of minutes, and now I'm back to my foolishly optimistic ways.  Welcome back, Kath!

I emailed Husband a little earlier and asked him if he had any suggestions for what I should blog about.  He wrote back and said, "Yes.  Cloning."  And then went on and on about how he needed a clone because he's so busy.  So...that's not exactly what I was looking for, but we'll go with it.  Because I will write about anything that I am asked, I promise.

Let's all imagine a world with more than one Kathy.  Can you even get your mind wrapped around that?  Uh. Mazing.  Twice the laughs.  Twice the fodder.  We'd all be better off.  More than likely, I'd make Kathy 2.0 do the following things:

1. Fold socks.  I hate folding socks.  I get physically angry every time I do it.  I think I might actually be allergic to folding socks.  Still waiting on the doctor to call me back on that one.
2. Make my fantasy football waiver requests.  I forget every week, and then I get stuck without a tight end.  Kathy Two will be much more responsible than me. And maybe she won't be an idiot and draft Brandon Pettigrew every year.  Hopefully, she's the more logical version of who I'm supposed to be.
3. Pay taxes.  I hate paying taxes more than folding socks, which believe me, is A LOT.  Kathy Two should probably start setting money aside so she doesn't cuss a lot when she finds out how much she owes at the end of the year.
4. And finally, this is the most important one...watch OSU lose.  Watching the Cowboys lose is probably my least favorite thing in the entire world.  Ever.  But I almost always have this tiny, tiny glimmer of hope that tells me, "Don't stop watching, they can still come back."  And I always think to myself, if they pull off the greatest comeback in sports history and you weren't watching, you will never forgive yourself.  So I watch.  And we never pull off the comeback.  And I turn into the salty fan I referenced earlier.  So, if I can get another one of me, and SHE can watch, I think I will have effectively solved the problem. She can take on the heartache of defeat, and I only have to experience joy and winning. 

What we are probably going to need to do is make sure that Kathy Two has the the power to freeze time either by putting her two forefingers together (ala Out of this World) or by calling "Timeout!" like Zack Morris.  Then we can switch places.  Any things take a turn, ZING!, switch places!

I could have used Kathy around 12:30 pm today to knock the tortilla chip out of my hand.  Let's hope I don't need her tomorrow.  (Insert big dramatic sigh).