Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Thanks y'all


Turkey Day is just a day away and you know what that means?  Kathy needs to stop complaining and whip up a little list of things she is thankful for.  So fill up that gravy boat and read along, won't you?

Meaningful conversations.  On the way to work today, Tiny Human and I had a conversation about Drake.  It started with her telling me she didn't like Macklemore.  Fair enough.  He's not for everyone.  She does, however, like Hotline Bling.  She asked some pretty hard-hitting questions about Drake like, "Does he have a beard?" "Does he want a beard?" and "Does he have hair?"  I appreciated her desire to really get to know the artist.

          
I'm sure you're wondering why I'm not listening to Kidz Bop in the car.  Because I can't, that's why.  I watch Dora and tolerate that stupid Map App and I watch Frozen and answer the same questions about why Elsa freezes stuff (emotional baggage) every single time.  I draw the line with the radio.  I need to hear music I like.  And you know what?  I'm not listening to Eazy E or Too Short, so I think I'm doing okay.  P.S.  I'm also thankful for Eazy E.

Inspiration in strange places.  I've recently been bitten by the inspiration bug.  No need to worry, it's a small bite that can be treated with essential oils (I don't know anything about essential oils, but from what facebook tells me, they cure everything).  I've been watching Orange is the New Black and had a epiphany. I'm sure you are wondering, why are you just now watching OITNB?  Because, people, I'm a laggard.  Please consult the chart.  I wait until something has been fully vetted by the general population, so I'm not stuck looking like a sucker.  Google Glass, anyone?  

Anyway, Crazy Eyes' writing inspired me to jump feet first into writing myself.  I probably won't write erotica like her, but you never know.  It's time to stop talking about how I want to be a writer, and just be a writer.  If she can do it, so can I!  Pay no attention to the fact that she's a character on TV, THAT'S NOT THE POINT.  I was also kind of inspired by a book I just finished.  It was really bad.  And if crap like that can get published and receive a good review, ergo tricking me into reading it, then what am I doing on the sidelines?  

I was also inspired by a random run in at Whole Foods.  As I stood inline to check out with two pies, two types of scones and cinnamon rolls, I noticed that Russell Westbrook's wife was in line in front  of me.  Looking at her made me feel bad about myself.  Thanks a lot, tall perfect-bodied former collegiate athlete.  And then I reminded myself, in a mere 12 weeks, I won't have to wear elastic and feel like a turtle caught on his back every time I lay down.  After Tiny Human #2 makes his arrival, I too can wear cute outfits and carry $3000 purses and be married to one of the greatest basketball players in the world.  


Football season is coming to an end.  Yes, you read that right, I'm thankful that college football season is coming to an end.  Bless it, this season has been a roller coaster.  This is an accurate description of how I've felt watching the Cowboys since August:

Holy lord, we are terrible ---> Well, at least we won ----> We will lose at least five games, maybe six. ---> How do we keep winning?  -----> I'm starting to think we have made a pact with the devil....I'm totally okay with that ----> Someone please tell me when it's safe to start breathing again. ---> Hey!  Maybe we are pretty good after all!  We just beat a top ranked team! ---->  Nope, spoke too soon.  We have flaws, but we keep winning, so that's something right? ---->  Frick!  OU looks really good.  Frick!  ----> Oh...It's all coming back to me.  Losing isn't fun at all.  At what point do I need to start accepting that a comeback isn't going to happen?  ----> Frick.  Bedlam has potential for making me have really bad feelings.

And that's where I'm at now.  I'm concerned.  I'm concerned that I'm going to wrap my fat stomach in twelve layers and brave the cold only to be kicked in the teeth by Baker "oh look at me, I used to be a walk-on but now I'm great and a good dancer" Mayfield.  Blast!  But I'm going to go.  And I'm going to hope that that pact with the devil has a Bedlam clause.  And if we do lose?  I will just pretend we didn't.  It's how I deal with bad things.  I choose to behave as if they didn't happen.  I Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind the hell out of painful losses.  Been doing it for years, and it's worked out just fine.

If you need me, just look for this girl.  Also, I'll probably need some help up.

         
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  And Go Pokes!