I'm sorry, your list is incomplete

Guys, I have to admit, I'm extremely humbled.  Everyone seems to be in the list-making mood, which I can only assume was inspired by this blog and the many, many lists I've made over the years.  I'd like to thank my family, my OCD-based need to write everything down, and my intuitive nature that lets me know that everything in some way or form ties back to me.  This is all very touching.

In honor of the "I've been given #9" trend, I shall present you with my list of strangest things to happen to me this week.  I've been give #3.  I gave it to myself.

1. I met a college kid this week, who upon learning that I was an Oklahoma State grad said, "I'm sorry."  It was not the response I was looking for.  My immediate reaction was a desire to shove him to the ground and yell, "Sorry?  I'll show you sorry!"  Just kidding, I'm a pacifist, I would never do that.  Okay, maybe I would, it's hard to say.  I think the more proper response would have been one of the following:

• "Oooooh, that's so impressive!  You must be brilliant."
• "I'm so jealous.  I wish I could have gone there."
• "Orange really is the prettiest color."
• "Wow, your football, basketball, wrestling, and baseball teams are so much better than ours.  What's it like to be a winner?"

Whatever, kid.  I'm proud of my orange blood and Cowboyness, and you should be careful who you say that to in the future.  Kathy would straight up karate chop your throat.

2. Yesterday morning, I was perusing Twitter.  I saw a post declaring how amazing this video was because it feature Toronto Mayor Ford wearing a jersey with "Mayor Ford" on the back.  Always up for a good soundbite and crazy Canadian antics, I clicked on through.  Ummmm, there was no warning of what that whack-a-doo was going to say.  To say the very least, it was not appropriate for work.  Or home.  Or life.  Okay, I'm overreacting, but what he said was the LAST thing I expected to come out of a politician's mouth.  Good gracious.  I won't repeat it on here, because 1. I'm a lady and 2. If someone googles my name in the future, that specific phrase is not something I wanted associate with this extremely professional and classy brand I've built for myself.  

I'm telling you guys, he's like Charlie Sheen and Chris Farley rolled into one, with a sprinkling of Jim Carey (he's the first insane Canadian to come to mind).  Note to self, do not open any Mayor Ford links at work.

3. And finally, the internet jumped up and bit me again yesterday afternoon.  Twitter is a dangerous mysterious land, people.  You all need to be more careful.  Someone I follow posted the following, "Ummmm....{instagram link}."  I was intrigued.  What could this be?  This girl is neither offensive nor Canadian, so I figured I was safe.  Not true.  It was a picture of a possum.  And it was bleeding from the mouth.  And it had tumors on it's snout.  Yes, it was literally my worst nightmare.  The only thing that could have made it worse is if it was in 3D.  I froze, threw up on my keyboard and broke into a cold sweat.  Actually, none of those things happened, but I did get nauseous...

Because possums are the devil.  How many times do we have to go over this?  It's not a joke.  They are horrible, horrible animals.  Somebody get Obama on the phone, it needs to be mandated that no one can post pictures of them without a fair warning.  And it should say, "WARNING: This is the worst thing you will ever see."

I came home and told Husband of the multiple landmines I stepped on throughout the day.  After telling him about being lured into the evil Twitter trap, the following conversation occurred:

Kathy:  Do you know this means there are possibly a wild herd of cancerous possums running lose in Oklahoma City?  If I ever saw one of those in person, I would first soil myself and then pass out.  I think we have to move.

Husband: Move from Oklahoma City?

Kathy: Move out of Oklahoma.

Husband: We should move to Canada...they seem like a fun group of people.