First, let's discuss the name. This morning on the phone, I was referred to as "Teddy." And this was someone I have had multiple conversations with. So, that's that. Kathy, Peggy, and Teddy. None of those are Katie. I give up.
The most important thing that happened today was that first thing I did out of bed was confirm my status in fantasy football. For those playing along at home, I went 4-0. Yep, undefeated. I won in the all-male league. My victory was rewarded with profanity on the league's site. As we have already established, I am a lady. A dainty, proper lady who would never repeat the things these men write. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it. I'm a winner. I beat boys. I am awesome. Go, Teddy, Go!
Then I cried at work. I'm just so upset over this conference realignment talk. Why can't they make a decision? In all seriousness, I was emailing with a friend who is amazing and needs to be told as much. So as I typed out my electronic pep talk, tears sprung to my eyes. I blame this on either a.) I may be a little too sensitive or b.) the middle of the night football game I attended on Saturday/Sunday is still seriously affecting me. Why am I still so tired? It was three days ago. Is this what being in your 30s is like? Frick.
And finally, the absolute highlight of the day (sans the Glee premiere tonight) was when Google revealed to me that karma does exist. I love you Google, I really, really do. Now how do I explain this to you, my loyal readers, without actually telling you what happened. I do not condone talking badly about people on the interweb. Not real people, people that I actually know. Hiding behind your computer saying mean things about people is bad. Unless its about Manu Ginobili or Phillip Rivers. That's not bad, it's right. Go forth. Okay, back to my karma story, I'm going to try to be very vague, and I might just make some details up. But don't you worry, I will tell the whole story one day when I finish my book. Until then, this is all I can say.
Back in the day I had a very negative person in my life. This person was like every Disney bad guy ever. Ursula, Cruella Deville, Scar, Jafar, all of them. This person had an evil cackle, flared nostrils, and just bad mojo. I thought when we parted ways, the Evil One would be out of my life. But it never works this way, now does it? Evil One kept doing evil things that were affecting me. What's a Kathy to do? I spent a lot of time praying for lightening strikes. But every time I researched or internet creeped, it seemed as though great things were continuing to happen to Evil One. Why universe? Why? It's not fair. So today, as I was working on something else, I happened to come across a lead. I like to use journalism terms to justify my obsessive compulsive fact-finding.
Anyway, I have no idea why I never Googled Evil One's name. Seriously, Kathy, you should be ashamed of yourself. So I Googled, and Shazam! Gold, pure internet gold! Evil One got what was coming, via the long arm of the law. Oh happy day! I couldn't stop smiling. I called my mom. I emailed Husband. I emailed my friend the Sexy Mex. I could not withhold my joy. And then I started to worry. If I take joy out of karma coming around, will that result in bad karma for me? No, no, no! That is not the plan. Bad things should happen to bad people. And why can't I enjoy that? I deserve it. Evil One tortured me. Why can't I enjoy their name popping up in Google as a criminal? Why universe? Why?
I need someone, way more enlightened than I am, to explain the rules of karma to me. I need to know if it's okay for me to relish in this. What if I just relish in it for a short time? Let's say four days. I took Asian Philosophy in college and this was not on the test.
**Editor's note: You can actually tell the level of my excitement by the number of exclamation marks I used. I never use them. I don't believe in them.
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