Ooooo, weee! It's like freakin' Christmas Eve! Except instead of church, people flock to sports bars...which for some people are their churches. Which is sad. And a different blog topic for a different day. But today we talk about March Madness! Wahoo! I'm doing a happy dance, which includes dribbling a pretend basketball between my legs. I've also been blocking people out all day. I've got the basketball fever.
So you still have a whole day to get your brackets filled out. There really is no excuse not to fill one out. It's easy. There is no pressure. It takes little to no effort, and unlike fantasy football, once you fill it out, you're done. No more work. And frankly, it's un-American not to participate. Why do you hate America? Grab a flag to drape over your shoulders, throw some bird seed at a bald eagle, and get to picking!
Now that I've talked you into it, I'm happy to share some keys to picking the perfect bracket. No need to thank me, it's what I do. On my tombstone it will read, "Always willing to give free advice." It will also say, *her name was not Kathy.
Without further ado, here are my top 5 things to keep in mind while making your selections.
1. The experts don't know it all. There are approximately 87 tournament analysis shows available to you. That is approximately 86 too many. Too much analysis. Too much "breaking it down." Wouldn't it be wonderful if they started a show out with, "We don't actually know what is going to happen, but this is what is supposed to happen." Well guess what? I was supposed to win the Mega Millions last night, and I think we all know how that turned out.
Yes, they have a lot of good, useful information. And yes, they get paid to analyze everything. But experts and pundits often get things wrong. Just ask Karl Rove. Too soon? So take their picks with a grain of salt, and follow your heart.
2. Heart vs. head. If you are a big, dumb homer fan like me, picking your bracket can be especially grueling. When I was a kid, my dad told me to never bet against the Cowboys...and to this day, I have such a hard time doing it. Every single year, I talk myself into them going far, "They could do it," I reason. "If the shots are falling, we can beat them," I dream. "This is a winnable game," I convince myself.
I mean, come on, Kath. Pull it together.
That being said, if the Cowboys get past Arizona, they will have destiny on their side. And destiny is nothing to sneeze at. Don't believe me? See Angels in the Outfield, Miracle, Glory Road or Goonies.
3. Don't go falling in love with the "hot" pick. Every year, there's a team that everyone hitches their wagon to. And every year, they disappoint. It was typically Missouri for like six straight years. That was fun. This year, it's Iowa State and Michigan State. The Cyclones are playing well, but they aren't THAT good. There are definite deficiencies in their game. And yes, Tom Izzo is a tourney coach, but come on ESPN, every single analyst picked State? Where's the limb-taking? No going out on risks? Let's all try to be a little more like Digger Phelps and pick OSU to go to the championship game. Now there's some logic.
Seriously though, be wary of the Cyclones and Spartans. You don't have to go with what all the popular kids are doing. Be a trailblazer.
**Note: If either team makes a deep run, don't go blaming me for not picking them. That's on you. But if I'm right, I expect the adequate praise.
4. Parity. Keep in mind, this is a time of great parity in college basketball. Elite programs like Kentucky and Kansas receive the windfall of great recruits. Great recruits tend to be super freshman and leave early, leaving programs to constantly rebuild. There is something to be said for senior-laden teams who have that leadership built in. Skill can only take you so far. Heart takes you the rest of the way...and older players who have something invested in the school and program always have a lot of heart. Please refer to recent Butler teams.
5. Just guess. I think there is a point where you can know too much, and analyze each game to death. You'd probably be better off letting your dog pick the games. Or that chimpanzee from the 80s who threw darts to pick stocks. I bet his bracket is at another level. Here are some helpful ways to make the decision between two toss-ups that you know nothing about:
- Who has the cooler mascot?
- Do they have a player with an awesome name? If so, go with them.
- Go with the one whose school colors AREN'T blue (there is no method to this, I just believe it).
- Wikipedia that stuff. School with the best "fun fact" should get your vote.
So there you go. Easy, peasey. And when you bracket eventually blows up, remember to always cheer for the underdog. Unless they are playing the Cowboys, in which case, who cares about the underdog.
Happy basketballing and Go Pokes!
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