Dear Daughter,
You are by far, the most fun you've ever been. SO much personality. You are constantly on the move and I'm hoping that kick starts some calorie burning on my end, seeing as I can't stop eating cookies this holiday season. And while I find your mockingbird phase of repeating everything you hear to be fun, entertaining and a clear sign of your high intellect, you don't actually have to repeat EVERYTHING. For example, when you are sitting with Mommy watching OSU basketball, and she yells "Damn!" after they lost the shooter on a ball screen, you don't have to yell, "Damn!" too. It makes Mommy look bad.
XOXO,
Mommy
Dear Travis Ford,
Keep up the good work. As you know, since I know you are a faithful reader of My Name is Not Kathy, I'm a fan. I'm aware you have flaws (who doesn't?), but I believe in what you are doing. The game on Saturday was a big win in my eyes. It's important to be able to beat a top 20 team on a neutral court. Even more importantly, it's key to be able to hold off a team who makes a late surge. Because come March, everyone is playing for their life. Let's focus a little more on free throwing shooting over the holidays. I'm looking forward to our Big XII title and Final Four run. I can't wait for the both of us to stand up and address the crowd and yell, "I told you so!" Then we should drop the mic and do the Kid 'n Play. Or did you have something else in mind? I'll have to watch The Sixth Man over the break to see if you have a go-to move.
Hugs,
Kathy
Dear Mike Gundy,
Well, it's been a rough year for us, Mike. Lots of ups and downs. I feel like our relationship should be stronger through all the trials, but I'm not sure I'm there yet. I think we can all agree that no one respects Missouri. I mean come on. Sure, they had a great season...but the SEC East hardly put up much of a fight. Remember how great it felt to stomp on Missouri's throats in 2008? Remember how fun it was watching Chase Daniel's big sad face get more and more forlorn? I do. It was awesome. Let's do that again. Of course, I want you to take them seriously...focus, focus, focus. But maybe go ahead and pull out the victory visor in the second quarter.
Sending you love, hair gel, and tucked in sweatshirts,
Kath
Dear Facebook,
Where's your sense of humor? Why so serious? Can we all lighten up a little? I saw a picture of an old friend today that showcased how lovely she really is. Lots of praise was heaped upon her, and I felt the need to tell her that I found her cute and skinny self annoying. Shove a cookie in your mouth like the rest of us. Actually, I didn't write that last part, because for as funny as I find myself, unfortunately there are more people who don''t. Your loss people, your loss. In 2014, let's try a little less serious duck complaining and telling people their kids are "stinking cute," and more sarcasm and humor. The world needs more funny people. Do your part.
Happy faces,
KHR
Okay, readers. Now it's up to you to get my messages to the respective parties. Act as carrier pigeons. Go Forth!
And most importantly, Merry Christmas to you all. And if you celebrated Hanukkah, I hope it was wonderful. But Hanukkah is over, you can't keep celebrating, that's against the rules.
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