Take a walk on the wild side

I have to admit, the title of this blog was inspired by the Motley Crue classic, "Wild Side."  Remember Motley Crue?  Big hair band of the 80s and 90s, now perform at casinos and state fairs.  My brother was a big Motley Crue fan in his adolescence.  Parents thought they were devil worshippers.  Standard operating procedure in Kathy's childhood.  For the record, I do think Vince Neil is harmless.  The only danger he poses is to the ozone layer with his use of hairspray.

Speaking of Kathy, it has been a BIG week for her.  Two email responses to Kath, even though Katie is the one who originally sent them.  Weird.  But the best moment came while I was wearing a name tag that clearly read "Katie" yet, still I was called Kathy.  I cannot explain this phenomenon.

But let's get to the point, shall we?  I frequent a very shady gas station at least two or three times a week. It's the closest one to my work, and I like their $1.19 jumbo Diet Cokes.  There is, however, a very strong chance that I will get shanked one day if I continue this practice.  What can I say?  I live dangerously.  Welcome to Kathy's life on the edge.

As I waited in line yesterday, I observed another patron who was either a crackhead or on meth.  I wondered to myself, "Do crack heads know how crazy they come across?"  I bet they don't.  I feel like they would reign it in a bit, if they had any idea.  This fine citizen payed for $7.26 worth of gas in change.  She rocked back and forth and was twitching.  I could not turn my eyes away.

Not wanting to be victim to a violent act, I turned my attention to my surroundings.  I noticed the pregnancy tests that sit right next to the gourmet jerky, and the fake flowers in their own stand.  And then of course there is my nemesis, the life sized cut out in the corner.  Give or take a few years, I estimate this cutout was produced in 1993.  It's a lifeguard with feathery locks and a million-dollar smile.  He wants me to buy Bud Light.  He also scares me often.  I know he is there, yet he catches me off guard almost every time.  I do not like life size cutouts, with the exception of Elvira.  No beef with the Mistress of the Dark.

So I passed the hunky lifeguard and climbed into my car.  And then I did what I always do, I imagined the worst case scenario and formulated a plan.  If, on one of my bucket o' cola runs, a crime was to occur in said gas station, what would I do?  WWKD?  I'll tell you what Kathy would do, she would probably run.  If it was a small criminal holding up the store, I might try to knock him out with my purse.  But more than likely I would run.  I would catch a quick picture on my cell phone, for posterity, and then Kathy would be out the door.

No need to worry people.  I have an exit strategy.  Besides, if I eliminate these shady gas station runs, where will my material come from?  I love free entertainment.  I NEED that gas station in my life.

On a final note, I would encourage all of you to refrain from Google image searching the following phrase, "scary gas stations."  What is wrong with people out there?  The internets are a scary place....much like my gas station.

Fill 'er up.