Letters: we can't all be winners, can we?

It's time to open up the stationary kit and write a few letters.  Join along if you'd like.

Dear OSU Basketball team,

I see you.  I see what you are doing with your big home-court wins.  And I like it.  I like that when I choose to make that commute to come watch you play, knowing I'll get home late on a school night, you give a lot of effort.  Sure, you couldn't win a scrimmage against elderly people on the road, but I do appreciate you winning at home.  I also appreciate rebounding.  And following the shot.

Please don't lose to OU again.  

Orange hugs and kisses, 

Kathy
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Dear Zombie Cat,

I think I'm supposed to be in awe of your story.  But really, I'm weirded out.  It's weird that you were dead and now you aren't.  One of my greatest fears in life is when nature attacks.  I saw the movie Pet Cemetery.  I didn't like it.  I don't trust your motives.

Keeping one eye open,

Kath
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Dear Empire,

Thank you for being exactly what I thought you would be.  You are what has been missing in my life.  A hip-hop soap opera?  Yes, please!  The music is great.  And I've had a soft spot for Terrence Howard since Hustle & Flow.  You know you're a good actor when I have deep sympathy for a pimp.  Like they say, it's hard out here for a pimp.  Seriously, they said that, I'm not even paraphrasing.    I guess some people have been critical of this show, and those people are dumb and clearly do not have their finger on the pulse of hip hop culture like I do.

You do you,

K-Dogg
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Dear Life,

Alright already.  Enough.  Some idiot somewhere once said, "you are only given what you can handle."  And that dumb advice is often given to people who are going through a really hard time.  And I guess, if that person hasn't completely lost it, this advice is kinda true.  For example, Zombie Cat seemed to be only given what he could handle.  And that included dying, but not really, being buried alive, and scratching and clawing his way out of the grave five days later.  But you know what they say, that which does not kill you only makes you stronger.  And since Zombie Cat did actually die, I think he is the strongest cat to ever exist.

Anyway, I'm about one more piece of bad news away from moving into a cardboard box and playing the drums on an empty bucket.  I need you, life, to take a sharp right turn and let's leave this doo doo behind.  Also, when I'm having a bad day, how about we refrain from sending possoms to run infront of my car.  Not cool, life.  Not cool at all.  I'm having a hard time reacting to things in a rational manner, so when the spawn of Satan scurried in my path last night, I yelled to the heavens, "Oh come on!  This is the last thing I need right now!'  I can only assume that possum had just emerged from the grave and was heading to my house.

Pull yourself together,

KHR