Do you all remember that song by Alabama, Angels Among Us? Looking back, the song is a little over the top. It was also over the top to play it during rush and cry and cry, but I was a very emotional collegiate. Anywho, the gist of the song is that there are angels all around us, sent down to be with us in our darkest hour. In all seriousness, I completely believe in this theory. But for the purpose of this blog, let's focus on sports angels, not to include anyone in Anaheim.
I believe in little sports angels, who fly around wearing knee socks, wrist bands, and sports goggles. Apparently, my angels all look like Kareem Abdul Jabbar, just not as tall. But totally as smart (seriously, do you guys know how smart he is? He's brilliant). Okay, anyway, my little sports angels either help me out, will my team to win or comfort me when we blow it. It's a complex job.
So, I've added them to my pre-season prayer.
Dear God, Universe, and orange-clad sports Angels,
I feel like most years, I haven't been greedy. In fact, I've been quite reasonable. For example, I didn't need it ALL, just some happy things. Well this year, I want it all. I will not apologize for my demanding ways.
Big XII Championship: I want this outright. No wonky three-way tie. Beat OU. Beat Texas. Beat TCU. Beat K-State and it's ours. And for God's sake, beat Iowa State and Baylor. We have a good schedule and with the smallest conference in the country, this shouldn't be too difficult. Win the Big XII.
No Heart-Breakers: Seriously, enough is enough. The Texas and OU games last year were enough to last me for at least three more seasons. For the love of everything holy, Texas beat us without even scoring. Yeah, the kid wasn't even in the end zone. Typing this is making me angry. And the OU game... I made my baby cry. How does that make you feel? It should make you feel awful. I felt a twinge of guilt as she sobbed and sobbed because mommy had just lept from the couch and was screaming, "NOOOOOO! Stop him!" as Blake Bell ran into the endzone. Don't make babies cry. Or even better, make Texas and Sooners babies cry. YES! That is what I want. I want the Cowboys to break someone else's hearts this year. Win it on a Hail Mary/Statue of Liberty/break free for a run of 62 last-second drive. Crush the souls of some other fan base. Yes! Yes! Yes! This is the key to my happiness. I should move this to the top of the list. Now, if I can just decide if I'd rather it be OU or Texas. If we did it to both, it might go down as The Greatest Season. Forget Barry Sanders and his 1988 Heisman Run, this would be the best ever.
Better Intro: I keep asking for this, and it keeps not happening. Give me an intro with 1. A song I know and 2. Words. No more video of guys working out. That isn't exciting. I do not get pumped when I see someone deadlift. I can't be alone on this. Big hits, that's what I want to see. Hell, if you need to, just show Jadeveon Clowney knocking that Michigan kid out from last year. Everyone likes that clip...except for the Michigan kid. Big hits, big catches, big runs. This isn't rocket science. Violence and scoring, that's what makes football fans happy. Come on OSU Marketing Department, I know you've got it in you.
Bonus Request We are still probably a season or so out to really see what Graham can do at ASU. But I'd like two small things this year: 1. Beat Arizona. 2. Beat Oregon. No explanation needed here. That's what I'd like. Have a good season, go to a bowl someone has heard of, and come back to challenge for the PAC title in 2014. See how reasonable I am? It is possible.
And that's it. That's all I need to make this football season a success in my eyes? How hard can that be?
Three Hail Marys, Amen and GO POKES!
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