You can quote me on that

Oh my, it has been a hard news week for my beloved alma mater.  I kind of feel like the Oklahoma State football program are the Pretty Little Liars and Sports Illustrated is A.  Just leave us alone!

Seeing as 90% of my facebook friends are OSU fans, and 80% of who I follow on Twitter are either Cowboy-connected or sports oriented, I have officially gotten my fill of coverage.  Everyone in Cowboy Nation is fired up.  Like someone just kicked their momma.  I am too.  Thayer Evans is an unlawful combatant who needs to be smoked out of his hole.  He is a bad human.  But, unlike the impassioned posts I've read all week, I'm taking a lighter look at the whole thing.  Come along with me if you want, should be a great time.

Let's look at the things that caused me to question the validity of this story...

1. OSU is a powerhouse.  As one of my Sooner friends (it's true, I have a couple) pointed out, "I dunno about you guys, but my first hint that the SI report lacks credibility was them calling OSU 'a major college football factory.'" I mean, she has a point.  Supposedly, the point of the expose was to figure out how a "cellar-dweller" rose so quickly to national prominence.  Quickly?  It has taken my whole damn life.  And if we just focus on the last 10 years, there were PLENTY of games that someone should have paid me to sit and suffer through.  Where the hell were my benefits?  Where's my sock o' money?!  

2. We aren't very good at cheating.  If I understand this award-winning five part piece, OSU is terrible at cheating.  Apparently we gave money to guys after getting beat by 40 points.  My god, how much were they raking in when Texas was whipping us?  And we were writing papers for kids who flunked out.  Are our tutors stupid too?  And then of course we let the entire team smoke out before games.  I'm no football genius, but I feel like that isn't actually going to help the performance.  I watch Intervention, being high doesn't make you good at football...but apparently it does help you play XBox.

3. Using money at the clubs.  One of the upstanding young men who was interviewed said he sold drugs while he was on the team and made from $100 to $300 a week to "go out to the clubs."  Clubs? What clubs?  Last I checked, there are no clubs in Stillwater.  There are stinky college bars where your feet stick to the floor and the bathrooms are never clean.  Beer costs $2.50 in Stillwater.  All you need is $30 and a good attitude to have a good time.  

4. Drinking bleach.  Apparently, some guy drank bleach to try to pass a drug test.  This could easily be true.  But good lord, if it is, that's your story.  Who recruited someone so dumb that they drank bleach?  Fire that coach.  Investigate that.

5. Gundy did something cool.  In today's article, it was claimed that Gundy made a "weed-smoking" motion to one of the guys in the weight room.  Really?  He tucks his damn sweatshirt into his khakis.  This guys isn't doing anything that cool.  

So, there you go, that's Kathy's theory into why this whole thing is fishy.  Kathy doesn't lie.  You can trust her.  She won a Pulitzer Prize.  Don't believe me?  Well some guy who is in prison told me so, so I think we all know who to believe here.

Tomorrow we hear about sex, which is usually how I kick off my weekends.  I'm sure it will be a super believable story about how some guy was having sex on the sidelines, while Miles was writing his term paper.  All in a days work.

I'm looking forward to gameday.  Let's focus on what's important here: football.  As Les Miles said, "I don't care what you do off the field, just win."  Okay, I might have combined Les Miles and Al Davis there, but if we've learned anything from Sports Illustrated it's that accuracy doesn't really matter.  We're not playing horseshoes or hand grenades here.

Can't wait for Lamar to come to town.  I wonder if he's bringing Khloe with him...I hear they are having problems.