If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter

I had a pretty hard time deciding which picture to use for this blog. I ultimately chose the picture that accurately portrayed my feelings last year during football season.  The picture below came in a close second.  Because I think it is so funny.

So, moving on to the important stuff....it's football season, party people!  And per my usual routine, I'm going to throw up some hopes and prayers and believe that universe will hear me. *prayer hands emoji*

1. No streaks.  Losing streaks that is.  Let's have a quick recap of how crappy that 5-game skid was last year.  It was honestly painful.  Side note, I'm trying very hard to not use the word "literally."  I'm at the point of murderous rage when I see people misuse literally.  I saw someone write the phrase, "my hands are literally tied" the other day. No, no they aren't.  Because you just typed that stupid sentence.  And you couldn't do that if your hands were tied.  But I digress.

So anyway, last season literally almost killed me.  So let's win more than we lose.  And let's pass the ball.  And get first downs.  Small things.  Go team!

2.   Offensive creativity.  Please see #1 on this list.  Um, the whole, running it up the middle for a gain  of 1.5 wasn't working last year.  It was poo.  You know what did work?  Fat guy touchdowns, ala James Castleman.  Trick plays.  Throwing it down the field.  More of that.

3. I ask every year, and every year no one answers, but I'd like an intro video that is awesome.  And not crappy.  Did I ever tell you guys that one of the best intros I've ever seen was a random UCONN pre-game video.  UCONN.  Did you even know they played football?  Unfortunately, I know that the best play of last year won't be shown.  The punt return that restored my faith in humankind is never to be talked about again due to bad decisions, arrests, and dismissals.  That's fine.  But let me tell you this, when I die and someone puts together a highlight video of my life, Tyreek Hill running that ball back will be included.  Childhood pictures, my wedding day, holding my sweet Tiny Human, The Punt.

So since we can't show that, I've got some ideas:

• Fat guy touchdowns.  Especially the one when Castleman slams into the defensive player and paint flies from his helmet.  
• Any scoring from last year.  It didn't happen a lot, so it should be celebrated.
• Remember when there was video of Dez Bryant racing a horse?  Throw that in for good measure too.

4. I want to win Bedlam again.  It's a simple wish.  It felt so good last year.  I carried the sports page around in my purse for two weeks following that game.  I want to feel that happy again.  Please and thank you.

5. Switching allegiances, I want this to be ASU's year.  It all sets up to be a special season.  Smokin' hot quarterback.  Favorable schedule. Veteran defensive squad.  Usually-wrong Kirk Herbstreit picked them to go to the playoff.  Maybe this will be the time he's not wrong.  Maybe?

Just win.  I want to see the Sundevils as the best in the west.

So it's pretty simple.  Easy, peasy, Japanesey.

Go Pokes!  Go Sundevils!  Go Fantasy Football Teams!