How about a little Q & A session, a little "Get to Know this Blogger," a little multiple personality interview with myself? Funsies for everyone, am I right?
Let's get started.
Q: You seem a little agitated, what's got you worked up?
A: Texas.
Q: The whole state?
A: No. Just their dumb football fans. Lord almighty, if I see any more complaints about the officiating of Saturday's game, I just might lose it.
Q: Care to expand?
A: I'd love to. Thanks for asking. They are all kinds of worked up because calls didn't go their way on Saturday. And I'll be the first to admit, several were questionable, if not blatantly wrong. But guess what? That's not called a conspiracy or "a fix." That's called sports. Bad calls are made in EVERY game. It happens. Shall I put together a highlight reel of all of the times OSU has been the victim of bad calls? I would do that, but it would make me even more annoyed than I already am.
And I'm going to just dole out some hard-to-swallow news....when you are reduced to celebrating moral victories and blaming officials for losses, you are now the fan of a mediocre program. I should know. I'm an OSU fan. So suck it up, will ya?
Q: Shall we move on?
A: Fine. But for reals, I'm beyond annoyed by their outrage. Dumb City, USA. Population: Longhorn Nation.
Q: What about the teams you actually cheer for? How have they fared so far?
A: Meh. Somehow the Cowboys are undefeated. I suffer from heart palpitations watching them play. I find myself holding my breath for long periods of time, which in turn, makes me dizzy. The ol' quarterback switcheroo game we played versus Texas seemed pretty dumb to me, but no one pays me to coach, so maybe it was genius and I'm just not at that level of understanding.
The Sundevils....well, sometimes they are hard to watch. Do you remember those Faces of Death movies? That's kind of what Saturday night felt like. Like a punishment that I didn't deserve. So... here's to hoping I've atoned for whatever horrible thing I've done in my former life and we can move on to happy football. Husband is struggling too. Seeing as the Sundevils play in the middle of the night because the desert is hot and everyone would spontaneously combust if they played when the sun was out, he can't even yell. Because Tiny Human sleeps while ASU plays football. Ergo silent rage. On Saturday as we watched them turn the ball over on the goal line for a 96 yard return for a touchdown, he stood up and said, "I need to be by myself." Hashtag sigh. Hashtag pray for Husband. Prayer hands emoji.
Q: Yikes. Sounds pretty bad around your house.
A: Preach.
Q: Next topic. Watch anything good on TV lately?
A: Well, I decided to join the new craze of Netflix.
Q: Seems like you might be a little late to the party.
A: I'm a laggard. It's a marketing term. Look it up.
Q: I'll get right on that.
A: Anywhoozle, I just finished watching all the House of Cards episodes.
Q: Oh yeah? What did you think?
A: The show makes me feel extremely unsettled. I've come to realize there isn't one character on the show I like. They are all bad people. All of them. At first I was all, Frank Underwood, he's ruthless, but underneath he's a good guy. Couldn't have been more wrong. Oh, Doug Stamper? Good guy. Hard worker. Nope. Bad guy. Hard worker. Everyone is bad. Everyone who has redeemable qualities dies.
Q: You know it's just a show right?
A: Is it? Then explain John Boehner to me.
Q: Do you have anything happy to talk about?
A: I do. My dog has stopped barfing on the carpet, so I'm pretty jazzed about that turn of events. The super blood moon did not disappoint. And tonight I'm building a rocket ship with Tiny Human.
Q: A rocket ship?
A: Yes. We had a conversation about not wanting to go home, instead we were going to go to the moon. I noted that that trip would require a rocket ship. And so...we are building one tonight. I assume this counts as STEM education.
Q: I'm not quite sure that qualifies....
A: Honestly, no one asked you.
I don't think anyone can really explain John Boehner, though references to Spongebob Squarepants would probably help.
ReplyDelete