Farfegnugen and stuff

I went to Germany.  And I want to tell you about it. So I figured I'd dust off the ol' typewriter and fire this sad little blog up again.  Besides it's almost football season, and that means Angry Irrational Kath is just waiting to be unleashed.  SET HER FREE!

So I went to Dresden and Berlin.  I saw lots of stuff.  And increased a bunch of the knowledge in my noggin.  Here's what I learned.

1. Whoever was in charge of teaching me about WWII failed.  Frick.  There is a LOT I didn't know.  I said approximately 80 times, "I did not know that!  Did you know that??" And most people said yes.  Color me, embarrassed.  So upon my return to America, I said to Husband, "Teach me everything I need to know about WWII.  All of it."   Him: "Uh, like what do you want to know?"  Me: "Everything.  Let's start with WWI and go from there.   I need to know everything from WWI to the Berlin Wall.  Teach me!"  And now, I'm basically a history genius y'all.  Fire off your questions, I have all of the answers.

2. Jean shorts are very big in Germany.  Many a man sported jean shorts.  And not at all ironically. Europe is fashion forward, right?  So you guys can basically expect to be jorting around very soon.  Fire up.

3. Germans are very big on the f-word.  They use it a lot.  More than I do....which is saying something.  It's like their sexy way of rebelling against the man.  Lots of graffiti featuring the f word.  F the cops.  F the system.  F it.  It was everywhere.

They also seem to be big on American phrases on t-shirts and the Bronx.  I think it is strange to be obsessed with the Bronx, but whatever.  You do you, Germany.    I passed a kid who had a shirt that read, "High all the time," and I laughed and wondered if I was the only person who could read it.  I also saw a girl who had a tattoo that read, in English, life without living is like death without dying, or something like that.  I wonder if English to Germans is like Chinese symbol tattoos to Americans.  In that case, disregard my fashion forward remark.  They are moving backwards in time...which is not necessarily a good thing for Germans, if you know what I mean.

4. There is a real strong commitment to potatoes in Saxony.  We had a "traditional German dinner" one night and honest to God, there were nine versions of potatoes.  I ate them all. Because I love potatoes very much.  Then they served dessert, and wouldn't you know, it was a potato creation too.  And it was delicious!  It was like Iron Chef: Potato!

We visited the palace of Frederick the Great in Potsdam.  On his grave, visitors left potatoes.  And the most odd thing about it, is that that wasn't the first thing addressed by our guide.  She's all, 'here's his  legacy," and all I'm wondering is, "Why the hell are there 45 potatoes on his grave?" Apparently he was a big proponent of potatoes.  Alright then.  Using that logic, my grave will be covered in salt.  Viva la sodium!

5. The German language kind of always sounds like yelling.  I attempted communicating with a woman while trying to purchase some souvenirs.  I held up three fingers indicating that is how many I wanted.  She brought out four.  Me: No.  Just three (holds up three fingers).  Her: Flugen herten blergen shlur!!  Me: No!  THREE!  Her: GERMAN YELLING!  My mom said, "We'll just buy the fourth one it's okay."  Me: No way!  She can't just bully us into buying more.  My fingers make it very clear how many I want."  We got three.  I think that lady was very angry.  Or maybe she wasn't.  I will never know.

It was a great trip.  I think Berlin is fabulous and could have spent at least another week there exploring.  The art.  The museums.  The shopping.  It is a truly global city that I would rank right up there near the top.  It's incredible how far it has come since the war.  And I will say they very much embrace their tumultuous past, no running from the horrors of the war.  I give Berlin two thumbs and a sack of potatoes way up.

Prost!