I did a little traveling this week. Traveled right back to the early 1990s. A really magical time in my life. Awkward clothes, braces, bad/frizzy hair. The 90s are when I developed my amazing personality, because no one was going to love me for my appearance.
So I hopped in my mom's Aerostar and went back in time to a concert featuring TLC and New Kids on the Block. Nelly was supposed to be there, but he bailed. Like a chump. But the other two acts showed up and put on quite a show. Here is my review of both. Enjoy.
TLC
I was curious how a trio performs a concert with just two, but they didn't miss a beat. My favorite part of the performance was when they took the stage and my friend asked me, "Wait. I thought there were three of them." She apparently had not heard the breaking news that Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes had died 13 years ago.
Oddly enough, the music and songs didn't really seem to be missing anything, which makes me question if Left Eye was actually that integral to their success. Minus her rap solo in Waterfalls, I'm pretty sure all she added to the group was baggy pants, a condom over her eye, and that crazy factor every team needs.
NKOTB
OMG y'all. Here's a secret, this is the first boy band I've ever seen in concert. I didn't even see any when I was an irrational teenager. I waited until I reach full emotional maturity, which just happened to be Monday.
This may come as a surprise to some of you, but their music is not as good as I had remembered. It's possible that my tastes have changed, but it's also possible that Jordan Knight can't hit those high notes like he used to.
When I was a kid, I never understood why there was any debate who was the best looking one. It's Joey. And anyone who didn't think so was either a) dumb b) just trying to be different or c) dumb. Joe (his grown-up name) is still the hottest. Kudos to you, young man. However, if I were to be forced to hang out with a New Kid in modern time, I would pick Donnie. He seems the most relatable to me. We could drink beers and talk about basketball and Boondock Saints (I just have a feeling he likes that movie too) and why his stupid brother was such a jerk to me when I met him in Vegas in 2004. It would be swell.
Then of course there are the other two, the brother and the guy with the arms. A friend asked me if I knew how old Danny Wood was, to which I responded, "Who?" Obviously, he never made much of an impression on me. I was, however, pleasantly surprised to see that he has been lifting all the weights since the 90s. So. Many. Muscles.
Here's the real kicker of the night though, the last third of the show was quite provocative. So many pelvic thrusts. I was a little confused, as I had fond memories of bubble gum poppy music from five cute faces (really only 2 cute faces, who am I kidding). But NKOTB has evolved into something new. Something that humps the air. And the stage. And I don't know, I just don't think I was prepared for it. I'm not saying I didn't like it, I'm just saying, I didn't see it coming.
It was a super fun night with college friends and show choir dance moves. I heard ridiculous questions such as, "Did Left Eye actually only have one eye? No? Then why the eye patch?" When you delve into the complex questions, you know it was a good time. I'd go so far to say it had all the Right Stuff.
I'm sorry. I had to.
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