Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Who needs a house out in Hackensack?



So I have this goal to blog on Mondays and Fridays…but ol’ life has given me a flippity floo lately, like what you might see in the winter Olympics.  I like to think that life is giving me the YOLO flip like they do in snowboarding.  So let’s examine the highlights and lowlights, shall we?

OSU basketball

 Lowlights:
Well, I’ve watched two heartbreakers back to back.  The season has been so disappointing.  So much talent.  So many expectations.  So sad. 

Highlights:

My NCAA Bracket should be excellent this year.  I won’t be clouded with convincing myself that OSU can beat anyone.  I do this every year, I somehow have them in the Elite Eight or Final Four each year.  There is something to be said about watching too much basketball, you over-analyze.  There is also something to be said about being a homer.  Guilty as charged.

 Lowlights:

Big fat loss to stupid Baylor.  It was tough to stomach, because 1.) The team played so hard 2.) Losing sucks and 3.) That shot to send it to OT was amazing, and then it all went away. 

Highlights:

I learned I can yell at the top of my lungs, “OH MY GOD!” when no-way-that’s-going-in-because-that-guy-never-plays shots send your team to OT and not wake my sleeping child.  #winning 

Also, Marcus Smart called out an obnoxious blogger for being so negative.  I’ve done it myself to no avail.  It made my heart so happy. Love to see internet bullies get put in their place.  Negativity is not good for a fan base.  He’s not good for OSU.  He’s good at GIFs and capturing replays off of his DVR.  Lame City, USA.  Population, 1.

Moving:

 Highlights:  

Hooray!  New house!  More room! Bigger, better, all those good things.  We are like George and Weezy, except we are moving north, not east.

Lowlights: 

I hate moving.  I hate packing.  I announced on Sunday that packing stresses me out and really made me want to drink wine.  And then I had a very sad moment when I realized that I had packed all the wine glasses.

Tonight, we ate wonton soup out of mixing bowls.  Following the heartbreaking basketball game, I made the decision that I HAD to have a glass of wine.  So I drank it out of a Joe’s cup.  College-version Kathy would have been proud. Hell, 30-something Kathy was proud.  Do what you got to do.  Adveristy.

Lowlights: 

Moving with a toddler proves to be challenging.  Packing things INTO boxes seems to go against her wiring.  She's more of a "take everything out and throw on ground" type of person.  She's also a "continues to try to escape through the garage" type of person.

Highlights: 

She’s still tiny enough that you can have “adult conversations” with her with no repercussions.  I know my time is short.  I was explaining to her what I was doing on Sunday and suddenly broke into Billy Joel’s classic, “Moving Out.”  I sang and she watched amused.  I then realized that I only know about 30% of the words to that song.  But you can bet your butt, I know the line about Hackensack.  Gold, Billy Joel, Gold.

I explained to my 1 ½ year old, “This is Billy Joel.  He’s great.  A musical genius.  He’s from New York.  Your father knows every word to his songs."  I asked her to dance, but she was having none of it.  She's a hip hop girl at heart.

 Illness


(here’s where I want you to feel sorry for me)

Lowlights: 

Our entire household has been sick since New Year’s Eve.  I spent NYE, Super Bowl Sunday and my birthday weekend in bed.  Tiny human has been sick approximately 43 times.  Okay, maybe a little less than that, but good lord.  When does it stop?

Husband has been complaining about not feeling 100% for several days.  After six suggestions that he go to the doctor, he finally did.  And guess what?  He tested positive for Type A AND B of the flu.  Who knew that was a thing?

Highlights: 

Husband is clearly an overachiever.  He has two flu's at once.  Cool story, bro.  We are all super jealous. Go big or go home.

Lowlights: 

We have to pack this dumb house by Thursday and Husband is out and the baby can’t pack anything effectively, I’ve tried.  It’s a one-man show.

Highlights: 

I work well under pressure.  I’m not likable during these times, but I GSD.  So Kathy will rise to this occasion. 

Tiny Human:

Highlights: 

I know I keep talking about this, but she is so super fun.  I honestly don’t know where all this charisma comes from.  I was a shy child and Husband was awkward.  Somehow, she came out of that dynamic duo as a super social crazy baby. 

Lowlights:

 I rarely understand what is going on in this house.  It’s just constant mayhem.  There are no parenting books titled, “Your child is a little insane, this is what to do.”  It’s every man for himself. Go on without me.  Save yourselves.

For example, this is a conversation she and I had on Sunday:

Me: You know, with all that food on your face, in your hair and all over your clothes, combined with your erratic behavior, you remind me of an old drunk crazy lady.

Tiny Human: Pen! Pen! Pen!  then runs away laughing 

Me: Yeah…you’re not doing much to dispel that rumor.


The Kathkey household is in some desperate need of some sunshine and positivity.  I’m turning to the Piano Man for words of wisdom.

“You may be right.  I may be crazy.  But it just may be the lunatic you’re looking for.” 

Preach.




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