There's a fly in my Chardonnay

Remember Alanis Morissette's little ditty about irony?  Isn't it ironic?  Don't you think?  And remember how nothing in the song was actually ironic, it was just bad luck.  I remember thinking, "God, does she not understand irony?"  I was so annoyed.  And yet, as I was contemplating this blog in my head, a mental rough draft if you will, I realized that the irony of the song is that nothing is ironic.  And maybe that's what she intended...and if so, Alanis Morissette is a Canadian genius!  That Joey Gladstone let a good one slip away.  Cut. It. Out.

Anywho, I had a couple of ironic things happen to me this week, and thought what better way to jump back into my poor abandoned blog than a theme.  Like I've said a million times before...you're welcome.

The other day on the facebook or "the book" as I like to call it, I saw a post from someone that was pretty ridiculous.  I have to keep this very vague because I do not want to libel anyone in anyway.  Okay, I don't actually care if I libel anyone, but I don't want the retaliation that comes with such actions.  I'm all grown up now.  Gots me a kid and everything.  So this person told about something they did with their very young child.  I was relaying the story to Husband over dinner.  "Nice parenting, huh?" I asked with snark and judgement oozing from my lips.  We laughed at what a bad parent this person was.  Two minutes later, Husband pointed out to me that our six month old daughter was eating a napkin while sitting on my lap. I was caught up in conversation, I failed to realize that she had pulled the napkin to shreds with her gummy trap.  I had to fish the napkin out of her mouth, since the doctor didn't say anything about "paper products" being worked into her diet.  Hmmmm.  Ironic.  Maybe I should stop judging other people and focus more on my child who is going through a Billy Goat phase of trying to eat everything.  I'm thinking of sticking her in the backyard to deal with the overgrown grass.

The next day, while at work (new job, less football speak/more Corporate America and stock options.  Yay!) I was researching the environmental benefits of using ebill.  As I was fully immersed in data mining and finding all kinds of fun facts on going green (Go Green!  Go White!  Oh wait, that's Michigan State...) I was printing off all of my great findings.  Hey look, New Boss!  I'm so great at researching I've found gobs and gobs of relevant information!  See how great it is to use ebill and save paper and trees! See! See!  Everything you need to know...is on this huge stack of paper.  That I just wasted.  I swear Smokey the Bear was probably crying somewhere in a forest.  Ok, I know that Smokey the Bear isn't really tied to going green, but does that movement even has a mascot?  I feel like they don't, so I'm going with Smokey because he should fall under the "don't hurt the Earth" umbrella.  So I have lots of great statistics on why going paperless is good for the environment on a big stack of papers on my desk.  Such a sad irony.

And finally, I found irony in having to wear my winter coat in April.  Actually, I didn't find it ironic, I found it super annoying.  It's April.  Bring on the sunshine.  This lingering winter is stupid.  And I don't approve.  You know what this cold weather is like?  Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.  (On a serious note, can you imagine being anywhere with 10,000 spoons?  That would be amazing.  Ironically, I'd like to find this land of spoons).