Danke Schoen

(**Editor's Note: My extended blogging hiatus has been due largely in part to the human that I created.  I don't know if anyone has told you guys, but babies are a lot of work.  I look forward to her hitting the three-month mark when she will become completely self-sufficient.)

As my Facebook timeline is filled with the "Today I'm thankful for..." status updates, I had an idea.  Why not just knock them all out at once? I thought about carrying out my grand plan on FB, but as you will see, my thankful things are filled with snark.  Snark is best left to the blog.  Don't want any of my almost 600 closest friends to think I'm making fun of their thankful things, I'm just taking a Kathy-like stand on the matter.  So here are my top 10 thankful things, I tried to come up with 21 and ran out of steam...

1. Tupac.  I'm thankful for Tupac Shakur.  There has never been a time in  my life when I heard a Tupac song that it didn't instantly improve my mood.  Kids these days don't appreciate the genius that is I Get Around, Dear Mama, and I Ain't Mad at Cha. Thug life, homie.
2. Cowboy basketball.  Went to the exhibition game the other night and man I'm happy that the season has started.  I love Cowboy basketball. I love being able to say things like, "You shouldn't get beat by an outlet pass," and Husband looking at me and saying, "The fact that you say things like that is ridiculous."  If by ridiculous, you mean ridiculously awesome, you're right.
3. My leadership class.  I'm part of a leadership class that runs from October until April.  It's filled with young whipper-snappers throughout the OKC community.  They do fun things like brunch and happy hour and community meetings.  Granted, I haven't gotten to participate in the fun activities due to the human I made, but knowing that it's a possibility makes me very happy.
4. My new car.  Or whip as the kids say.  Actually, I have no idea if people still call cars "whips."  They probably don't, which really demonstrates how old I am.  Sigh.  Anyway, I love my new car.  I realize that loving material things is shallow.  Oh well.  It's awesome.  It has so many bells and whistles, my heart is happy each time I get in.  The cup holders also light up...in orange lights.  When we got in at the dealership and were being told how to work all the 1,000 gadgets, guess what was playing on Sirius?  Ludacris.  Unedited.  It was destiny.
5. Sirius Satellite Radio.  I've never had it before and let me tell you, having it is like being an Amish person with an iPhone.  Mind blown.  They have a country station that only plays 80s and 90s country.  Holy Travis Tritt and Tanya Tucker, this station was made for me.
6. Election season ending.  Too much propaganda.  I can't imagine living in a swing state, because I'm sick of it and I live in a state that all the candidates forgot.  I'm also tired of a certain Congressional candidate calling our house.  I keep trying to break up with you and you don't seem to be getting the message.
7. The show Breaking Amish.   You should watch this show.  It's a train wreck.  In the most beautiful way.
8. Being able to say anything I want to my baby.  She's so young, I can just talk and talk and she'll never actually know what I'm saying.  Yesterday, I sang James Brown to her (Get on the scene!  You're a poop machine).  I talked to her this morning about the election.  And I sing the OSU fight song to her when she cries.  I am entertaining myself more than anything.  Conclusion drawn: I need more adult interaction.
9. Dark beer.  I got to drink one the other night after 10 months on the wagon.  My heart was all aflutter.  I am thankful for you dark beer, I really am.
10. The Chicago Bears defense.  Single-handily has saved my fantasy football season.  Hats off to you Brian Urlacher.

The End.  Thank you and goodnight.