Mail bag

Sometimes I get writers block and the way I deal with it is writing dumb things or going dormant.  Like a volcano.  Or a cold sore.  Gross.  I'm disgusted with my sense of humor today.  Anyway, I thought I'd shake things up a little and try something new.  I'm always getting emails* and messages from readers, so I thought I'd open up the ol' mail bag and just answer your questions.  And away we go!

Hey Kathy,

Since the Thunder aren't in the playoffs, how closely are you paying attention?  Who you cheering for?

Vance, San Diego


I'm aware that the playoffs are going on.  That is the amount of effort I'm putting into the NBA playoffs.  I'm giving about 12% effort this year.  And that might be a little high.  I'm "rooting" for teams that sport guys from my alma maters: Memphis, Brooklyn, Boston, and Houston.  And by rooting, I mean if you put a gun to my head and asked who do you want to win, those would be my answers.  More importantly, why do you have a gun to my head?  It's just sports.  Relax.  Also, I always cheer against San Antonio and Blake Griffin.

Dear Kathy,

Lots of candidates are officially announcing their run for the 2016 presidency.  Who ya got and why?

LoDen, OKC

I saw that Waka Flocka Flame is running, and that piqued my interest.  He's running on a platform of legalizing weed and not allowing dogs in restaurants, and frankly I admire his courage of addressing the hot-button issues.  What I'm most excited about is reading the political opinions of all 600 + of my facebook friends.  It's really the best part of election season.  I often wake up and wonder, "How should I feel about this issue?  Let me consult the 'book and see what the people are saying."  I'm especially swayed when people use lots of exclamation points and phrases like "Wake Up America!"

Hey Kath,

You caught up on Scandal yet?  Also, who is Charles?

G-Money, Rosewood

Not yet.  Just started Season 4.  Someone should have warned me about Harrison.  Lots of feelings about that.  In a surprising twist, people continue to get murdered.  I can only assume by the end of this season the only thing left will be a bottle of wine and Quinn.    Also, I don't want to answer questions about Pretty Little Liars. I'm mature and a grown up and  focused on important topics like Waka Flocka's stance on equal pay.  But since you asked, I'm sticking with my theory that Charles is Dan Humphrey.  XOXO.

Kathy,

I'm expecting my first child next month.  Any parenting advice?

FF, Texas

Nope.  Parenting is hard.  I don't know what I'm doing 90% of the time. I'm positive Tiny Human loves the Bubble Guppies more than me.  But she's cute and she's clean and she tells her teacher that her mommy is clever, so I'm doing something right.    She also hummed Ride 'Em Cowboys the other day unprovoked, which caused my heart to grow three sizes.  So I take it back, here is my advice: when they are screaming in your face, sing OSU fight songs and the alma mater.  Not only are you showing school spirit in the face of adversity, you are also brainwashing them.  WAKE UP AMERICA!

And that will do it for today's mail bag!  See you guys next Wednesday for more Q&A.

*Editor's note: none of these were real questions.  I made them all up.  But if you have questions you want me to answer, send 'em my way.  I'll answer, I promise.  Just don't be gross, let's try to keep this at a junior high level of decency.