Thursday, March 12, 2015

Letters: Basketball Edition


Dear Travis Ford,

How are ya pal?  You feel good?  Did you wake up this morning feeling like a winner?  Did you put a game plan together that's opposite of what you did the first two times we played OU this season?  Swell.  Let's go out and win one for ol' Kath tonight, alright?  I've had a rough go as of late.  I'm dealing with a bully on a pretty regular basis, someone stole my wooden Pistol Pete out of my front yard, and I STILL haven't won the lottery....I need you to win tonight.  It is a scientific fact that I am happier and my body reacts in a positive way to beating OU.  It's true.  I have a note from my doctor.  What does your body produce when you're happy?  Serotonin?  Melatonin? Whatever it is, it will come pouring out my ears if we can beat the Sooners.  So do it for my health.  Do it for America.

Go Pokes,

Kathy

---

Dear Ryan Spangler,

I don't like you.  You remind me of a guy who drives a monster truck, blares Skynard, and revs your engine when I'm next to you at a light.  And I bet that monster truck has glass packs, so you are super loud as you drive too fast through the neighborhood.  But it's not just that...it's the Euro-step I just can't stand.  Let me fill you in on something, you ain't Manu Ginobili.  That's called a travel.  I know so, because I yell it every time you do it.  Thank goodness you're a senior.  

What's that?  You're just a junior?  Frick.

That's a walk!

KHR

---

Dear Big XII Refs,

It's hard for us to win when the other team is in the bonus five minutes in.  So maybe you guys could do less tweet tweeting, and more "nothing to see here."  And in case you are having a hard time deciding, "Did LeBryan Nash get fouled in the paint?"  The answer is always yes.  Always.

XOXO,

Kath

Go Pokes!  Beat OU!

No comments:

Post a Comment