It's not me, it's you

I don't know how to say this...but it's time to break up.  There I just said it.  Travis Ford, I'm breaking up with you.  To the left, to the left.  Everything you own is in a box to the left.

I just sat through another disappointing Cowboy basketball game.  Husband and dog both fell asleep so I was alone to suffer through the joke of a game.  Yay me!  Just keep suffering.  Builds character.

I was thinking while I watched it spiral out of control AGAIN about how this is kind of like dating.  Dating in college.  So join me as I draw the comparison, won't you?  I should also note that this analysis is not reflective of any real life people, relax.  It's all hypothetical.  If you recognize certain traits, well, I mean, whatever.

So, you start dating a new guy, comes off the heels of the best boyfriend you could ever have (Eddie Sutton) but unfortunately it had to end and then kind of a mess of a boyfriend (Sean).  No one really knows anything about your new boyfriend, Travis.  Friends and family are skeptical, but you're all, "No it's cool.  It's time to date a different kind of guy.  This will be great.  Trust me."

Travis has a lot of good qualities.  He's good looking (great recruiting), he comes from a good family (former Kentucky player/Pitino protege), and he's loaded.  Fantastic.  Superficially this guy is going to be great.

The problem is that Travis is total and complete spaz in public.  You never know what you are going to get.  One night he's super impressive and your friends are like, "I really like him!  Way to go, Kath!" *high five emoji*  And then you take him to a party and he starts telling really inappropriate jokes and everyone is staring at you and wondering what the hell is wrong with Travis.  And you're wondering, "Why did I sign a 10-year lease with this guy after three good dates?"  Frick!

But you stick with him.  He really has good traits.  Really.  And he seems to be growing up.  Maturing. For example, you took him to a date party and he was on his best behavior (KU game, you pick the year).  He was a good dancer, he bought shots all around, he was AWESOME.  But then three days later, you guys went out to the bar, and he got so drunk he threw up down his shirt.  And you find yourself AGAIN saying, "Dammit Travis!  Stop throwing up on yourself!" 

How did you become the girl who dates the guy who keeps barfing on himself?  Freshman year was kind of understandable, because freshman don't really know what they are doing.  But you're seniors now.  Get it together for the love of everything holy.  How many times do you have to be embarrassed before you say, "You know what?  I'm tired of having to go home early.  I want a new boyfriend."

Well, that time is now.  New boyfriend, STAT.  And sure, your options are somewhat limited.  You've lost most of your friends (fans), so you are kind of a loner.  But you still look good and have a great sense of humor, and you're back in the gym.  Beauty is on the inside and someone out there will notice you.

Who?  Who is it that you want to date, Kathy?  Well, obviously there's your Jake Ryan: Bill.  Everyone knows he loves you, deep down.  And sure, he's been dating the hottest girl on campus...but she isn't that great.  She's starting to let herself go.  Maybe now's your time.  Or maybe not.  What's the worst that could happen?  He could say no.  But you are currently dating someone who peed in the corner of the bar last weekend, it can't really get worse.

But you know who else is out there?  The guy who is your biggest fan?  He's good friends with your favorite best ex-boyfriend.  And he really likes you.  Like REALLY likes you.  And he's a philosopher, he looks at things in the big picture.  Maybe it's time to date an intellectual, no?  And sure, he hasn't really dated much, he's focused more on studying, but why not take a risk?  Here's the kicker: your friends love him.  They will want to hang out with you again.  At the moment, you are sad.  And you are lonely.  And frankly you stink.  It's time for a change.  Take the risk.

Break up with Travis.  Date Doug.

It's time...

Football is over.  College football that is, so it's time we regroup and focus on what's really important: college basketball, the greatest sport known to man.  I make it no secret that my first love is college basketball.  As I watched OU and KU last week, I declared, "Anyone who doesn't think this is the greatest sport is stupid and I do not want to know them."  Also important to note, I'm very big on speaking in absolutes.  The end.

Anywhoozle...as you might recall, we are bringing another child into this world.  And as it goes, we are cleaning out the room that was used as the, "just put it in the backroom" room.  Did this three years ago, you'd think I would have learned.  Didn't.  So I found my Bible I used in junior high and high school and in it I found a list of qualities I wanted in my future husband.  I was 15 and attending a weekend retreat where we were learning about relationships and all that jazz.  We made lists of traits we wanted in a spouse and were supposed to use this as a guide.  I'm positive it was supposed to be deep and meaningful.  I, in typical Kathy fashion, took it in a different direction.  For example, #3 on the list: must weigh at least 10 pounds more than me.  Current Husband was all, "Are you serious?  That's was one of your requirements?"  And I'm like, "Uh, yeah.  I was 15.  And come to think of it, that's still pretty important to me."  Number four on the list: Must be a basketball fan.  You guys...before I listed kind, caring, or loving, I said "basketball fan."  Priorities.

So as you can imagine the current state of Oklahoma State basketball program is hitting me hard.  It's bad.  So, so bad.  And I can't even conjure up a cute and witty blog comparing Travis Ford to the new girlfriend and the like.  It doesn't matter.  This isn't working.  The new girlfriend isn't that fun, throws lame parties, and is starting to put on weight. The time is now.  We've got to break up.  Soon.

Let's take a looksie at why this season is setting up to be so bad:

1. No one is coming to the games.  Honestly, it's me, my family, Tiny Human who has GPS tracking on where Pistol Pete is at all times, and that is just about it.  Weirdly, people don't want to watch losing.  And neither do I.  But now I feel like I HAVE to go, because no one else is there.  It's like when you go to a party because you feel obligated, afraid the host will fall apart completely because no one showed up.  I just keep showing up, hoping the drinks will be strong enough to endure the party.  Side note: alcohol would probably help me make it through this season....but people tend to frown on women who are 45 years pregnant tailgating by themselves.  Because people are judgy and life's not fair.
2. The rest of the league is GOOD.  Like really good.  KU is doing KU things.  OU is really good.  And their best player isn't even hateable....which is SO annoying.  I can always count on Spangler though, his dumb face is easy to not like.  And West Virginia will compete all season.  As will Iowa State.  And Tech.  I mean, this is the best the league has been in years.  And guess who isn't good?  Le sigh.  
3. OSU is so undisciplined.  Tiny Human has yet to start organized sports, but it's coming.  And from what I have heard, little kids' sports are just organized chaos.    Running around, errant passes/kicks, no real strategy, just constant movement.  That's what we look like most of the time.  We start to panic and no one knows what to do.  It's maddening to watch.  One thing that Ford's teams have always had a problem with is discipline: on and off the court.  Stop fouling.  Stop smoking weed.  Follow your shot.  Be smarter.  

I will say that I think this team has better ball movement than I've ever seen.  I'm also not mature enough to write that sentence and not laugh. The passing is great.  The rebounding is better.  We finally have some depth in the post.  We have a great point guard.  But we just aren't good enough.  It's a sad state of affairs in the water that is still.

So, I think I'll spend this season analyzing where we need to go from here.  Who should replace Ford?  I have some ideas.  Stay tuned.

Bedlam is on Wednesday.  I don't think it will go well.  But you know, I believe in miracles.  Remember when Boise State beat OU?  No one thought that would happen.  But it made America feel good, am I right?  I'm totally right!  Or when Harry Truman defeated Dewey?  That was a fun upset too!

So in the immortal words of Harry S. Truman, "I never did give them hell.  I just told the truth and they thought it was hell."

Nope, that quote doesn't work at all.  Surprisingly, he wasn't that quotable of a president.  But I'm going to stick with it, because I'm no quitter.  I will go down with this sinking ship....metaphorically, of course.  It's much too cold to be in the ocean.