I don't think so, buddy

Listen up, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, I don't want your ugly necklace. I'll be happy when Valentine's Day is over so you can stop monopolizing the television with your jewelry hawking.  Enough.  I don't care how many times you tell me that if I keep my heart open love will find a way in.  Your necklace looks like a cobra.  That doesn't make me think of love.  Cobras make me think of Karate Kid (put him in a bodybag, yeah!) and Rikki Tikki Tavi.  If Husband were to buy me an Open Heart Necklace for Valentine's Day, I wouldn't think, "Wow, he loves me so much!" I would think, "Why does he hate me?"  I'm not sure the jewelry of preference for women in 1867 Colorado Springs (I had to google Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman because I didn't know anything about it.  After reading the Wikipedia page, I feel like I probably didn't miss out on anything.  Lauren Ingalls Wilder owns you Dr. Quinn), but here in present day 'Merica, your necklace is dumb.

 

Side note: Blogger hates me today, and I can't figure out how to add this image as a thumbnail.  Urgh.  Technology.  I thought about leaving it out, but really, this argument needs a visual aid.

I've wanted to share my annoyance of the Open Heart/Cobra necklace for quite some time now.  Actually, I originally wanted to blog about it in December  (she makes a big push around the holidays too), but I was waiting for something else to complain about to round out the blog.  And then last week I found my other topic...

I was watching the Today show while I got the baby ready for her day.  Don't worry, once she's a little more aware, I'll put something on the television that is actually educational and valuable.  For  now, I choose to watch these yahoos on NBC and see what wacky situation Al Roker will get himself in next!  Zany!  Anyway, they had a reporter doing a story from Sochi, Russia, home of the 2014 Winter Olympics.  I don't remember exactly what the story was, other than they pointed out that it's a resort town with warm weather in the winter.  Don't worry though, the mountains surrounding Sochi have plenty of snow. Whew!  Close one.  The reporter then said, "They have a saying here in Sochi: If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes." My head popped up and I informed Spencer that that was the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Let me give you a little back story.  Please read the entire thing before you judge.  When I moved to Michigan, several people  said to me, "You know what they say about Michigan, if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes."  I found this ridiculous for two reasons 1. The weather in Michigan is pretty consistent.  Snow, snow, snow, snow.  Cloudy/overcast/40 degrees.  Snow.  Cloudy/overcast/40 degrees.  Sunshine for seven days.  And then snow again.  The weather isn't really their selling point.  Funny accents and hockey, that's where the money's at.  And 2. Everyone knows that Will Rogers said that.  And when he said it, he was talking about Oklahoma.    Geez, these northerners know nothing!

So, I had my pithy blog all ready to go.  I was going to point out how you can't just say, "we have a saying," when in fact, it's not your saying, you're just stealing it and applying it to your situation.  It's like saying, "You know what they say about Oklahoma City....whatever happens in OKC, stays in OKC."  Not applicable.  So I did a quick Google search, or as I like to call it, "fact checking," and discovered that it was in fact Mark Twain who said that and he was not talking about Oklahoma.  The exact quote is, "If you don't like the weather in New England now, just wait a few minutes."

Dammit!  I hate being wrong.  I mean, I really, really, really hate being wrong.  I basically get up each day knowing how right I'm going to be.  I feel as if I've been hoodwinked.  Someone, somewhere along the way told me this was about Oklahoma.  I probably just made up the fact that Will Rogers said it, because sometimes I embellish.  I don't even know what to do with this new found knowledge.  I feel like I should go back to Michigan and apologize to all those people that I snarkily (<-- new word I just invented) corrected.  As soon as the sun comes out up there, I'll get right on that.