Cool sweater, brah

I was going to write a blog about all the stuff the Today Show taught me this week.  But as I reflected, it didn't really teach me much.  However, before I launch into my tirade about a story I saw yesterday, I'd like to quickly touch on the fact that Prince Harry seems like a lot of fun.  I mean, A LOT of fun.  Good for him and his Vegas shenanigans.  You won me over, sire.

Okay, on to the ridiculous story I watched yesterday...  A woman was featured whose claim to fame was the fact that she had not purchased anything new in five years.  Five years.  She sounds like a real blast, huh?  Apparently, this all started by her challenging herself to go one month and not buy something new.  Hey lady, if these are the crazy goals you are setting for yourself, you might be the most boring person on the planet.  Try chugging an entire jug of milk, engaging in a wrestling match with an alligator, or not watching Sportscenter for 17 days (I did that during the Olympics...talk about a challenge).  But not buying stuff?  That's just un-American.  I, on the other hand, am an amazing American.  Freakin' Uncle Sam style up in here.

My scowl grew deeper and deeper as I watched her story develop.  Don't think for a second she wasn't high and mighty about her non-consumerism.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm all about a bargain. And if you are good at it, thrift store shopping can  be quite rewarding.  I have a friend whose mother is the best thrift store shopper on the planet.  Seriously, this woman can find anything worth value and walk out paying $.50.  She should teach a class, it's impressive.  But this stupid woman on the Today Show...different story.

The final straw for me was when she was showing off all the great "deals" she had gotten from the thrift store and held up an oversized lime green  ribbed sweater and said, "This sells for $150 in the stores, I got it for $4." Liar! Ummm, it cost $150 in 1999.  You didn't get a bargain, you were probably overcharged.  Just because it cost that much at one time in history doesn't mean that is the actual value.  Need an example?  Z. Cavaricci jeans.  At one time, very expensive.  I owned a pair of forest green Z Cavs.  They were awesome.  I was in 7th grade.  I wore them with Cole Haan boots.  I was awesome.  However, I think it's safe to say Z. Cavaricci's have lost their value.  As has the ribbed lime green sweater.

And another thing, just because it was once in fashion, doesn't mean it still is.  Nobody else is buying lime green anything anymore.  That color is reserved for the 90s and post-it notes.  You know what else used to be in fashion?  Tricorne hats.  If you wore one today, people are probably going to think you are crazy.  Oh, who am I kidding?  18th Century hats are rad.  If I had one, I'd wear it while carrying a musket and yelling, "Hark!  Hark!" 

So the moral of my super judgy blog is this: your discount sweater doesn't make you a smarter consumer than the rest of us.  It makes you cheap...and dressed in a lime green sweater.  And that offends me.