Wild Kingdom, Presented by Not Kathy -- Part 1

I have more than 1,000 pictures from my trip.  Way too many to share here or on Facebook or via Twitter.  I will eventually get around to posting them, after I edit them, but until that time, I thought I'd go about this a different way.  I could literally write 10-15 blogs about the different stories and experiences I had during my trip.  Only problem is that I'm probably the only one who would really enjoy this.  So, I'm breaking it up a little.  I'll share with you  my thoughts on some of the most memorable animals in a two-part series that I will call Wild Kingdom Presented by Not Kathy.  Then I'll recap the trip, and then we can all move on...after all, football season is right around the corner.  Let's get our priorities straight, people.

In this post, I will cover penguins, leopards, elephants, giraffe, hippos and hyenas.  Stay tuned for my report on lions, rhinos, water buffalo, wild dogs, wart hog, and zebra.

Penguins.  We saw penguins while we were in Cape Town.  One day we traveled down to the Cape of Good Hope and visited these little guys.  They are so cute.  Seriously.  I like the way they walk.  The way they scamper and the way they look.  Two thumbs up.  I would like to own one as a pet.  It was pretty cold on that side of the globe, so I can only imagine how cold the water was.  They would run into the ocean, and then high tail it out of there, like, "I don't think so, buddy!"  Extremely entertaining. This picture was of three little friends headed to the ocean together.  I titled it, Three Best Friends that Anyone Could Have.

Leopard.  While the votes are still being counted, I think I can call this election.  Leopards are my favorite animal in the bush.  They are just so pretty.  And just BAMFs. (I'm trying to curb my cussing, so I like to use acronyms instead).  During our time on safari, we saw leopards three different times.  In my opinion, they are by far the best dressed of the animal kingdom.  Functional yet sassy.  You go, kitty cat.  I missed seeing one climb a tree or kill something, but I did watch one hunt an impala.  I would like to own one as a pet.

Elephants.  Well, the elephants on the Sabi Sabi Game Reserve weren't really that friendly.  They were a little testy.  One of the females got all up in my grill.  I snapped a few pics and then decided that I was a tad uncomfortable.  I knew I should have been carrying a mouse in my pocket.  When they are trying to make their point and stand their ground, they flare their ears and stomp their feet.  You will notice in this picture that this young lady has her ears fanned out.  I see your point, miss, and I am choosing to back away.  You win this time, pachyderm.   Anyway, the elephants were big and grey and wrinkly.  They typically just walk around and eat stuff.  I was disappointed that they didn't walk in a straight line holding one another's tails.  Damn that Disney, they can really skew your sense of reality.  I do not want to own one as a pet.  They poop a lot.  I mean, A LOT.  Between them and the rhinos, we were constantly dodging land mines.

Giraffe.  Big, big fan of these long-necked freaks.  Then again, I've always been a fan of tall things: Eiffel Tower, Shaq, palm trees, Empire State Building, Big Country, and giraffes.  I developed a soft spot for giraffes when I heard they are the only other animal besides man that cries when they are sad.  And have you seen their eye lashes?  Holy fashionista!  We were on a walking safari, and when we turned the corner, there were five giraffe just staring at us.  Unlike the elephants, they were more curious than angry.  I am fond of curious things.  For I am a curious creature.  I give the giraffe an A+.  I would like to own one as a pet, but unlike the penguin and the leopard, I just don't think this is very realistic.  Our trees are very short and he could never come inside.  It just wasn't meant to be.



Hippopotamus.  The most boring animal in the world.  Behind maybe only the panda.  BOR-ING.  Do not waste your time with these duds.  There was only one hippo on the entire Sabi Sabi grounds.  He lived in a pond or whatever you call it in Africa on the outskirts of the reserve.  We waited until the last day to go see him.  And as we watched him he did absolutely nothing.  He only showed the top of his head (as you can see) and just laid there.  Didn't move, didn't swim, didn't open his mouth wide like you see in all the pictures from National Geographic.  Nothing.  Don't let the game Hungry Hungry Hippos fool you, real hippos can only dream of being that active.  I apologize for the boring picture, but this is the best I got.  I do not wish to own a hippo as a pet.  I assume it would be equivalent to owning a fern as a pet.

And finally, the hyena.  The hyena is a very interesting animal.  He is ugly.  He is shaped funny.  And he is a moocher.  Typically, the hyena waits for other predators to kill, and then he swoops in and eats all the good stuff.  He doesn't actually do the hard work, he just reaps the rewards.  Come to think of it, I'm almost positive there were a few hyenas in grad school with me.  One day, while we were watching the leopard hunt the impala, a hyena was about 100 yards behind just waiting for his opporunity.  Hyena: the opportunist of the animal world.  I don't have a lot more to report on the hyena except that I found his  body to be very similar to those juice heads at the gym.  You know the ones who only work out their upper body, leaving their waist and legs very, very small?  That's kind of what hyenas look like, but with fur.  I do not want one as a pet.  He would take all of Mr. Bojangles' hard work for granted.  We can't have that.