You Are Cordially Invited

Last week, a friend posted a very sincere birthday wish to the one and only Dolly Parton on facebook.  It got me thinking...  Back when I wrote a blog that no one read, I wrote about who I would invite to a dinner party if I could ask anyone.  Since no one read that blog, I figured I'd revamp it a little.  Let's just call it a remix.

A popular interview question that people like to ask is, "If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?" And I think you are typically supposed to give answers like Gandhi, Mother Theresa, FDR, and the like.  BOR-ING.  And sure, Jesus is a go-to answer.  But can you imagine the pressure of that conversation?  Eeesh.  He already knows everything I'm doing, so I feel like I would just be explaining myself.  "I'm sorry, Lord.  I can't help cussing during sports.  I really am trying to stop...okay, that's a lie.  But I am sorry...okay, that's a lie too."

I think a better question is, "If you could have a dinner party, who would you invite?"  So here is my list, in no particular order, except for #1.

1. Eddie Sutton.  Let's just go ahead and establish that Eddie Sutton has an open invitation to come to my house at any time.  Looking for someone to eat spaghetti with?  I'm your girl.  Need a game-watching buddy?  Come on over.  Seriously coach, mi casa es su casa.
2.  Dolly Parton.  Why not?  She's fun and sassy and actually quite intelligent.  Besides, I know she could whip up some mean grits.  And every party needs grits. Am I right?
3. TuPac.  No explanation needed.  He just needs to be there. I'll be sure to stock up on Alize.
4. Alexander the Great.  I'm only throwing him in because of Husband.  Since I'm inviting all of my pretend best friends, I suppose I should let him have a guest too.  They can talk about battles and Macedonia, Aristotle and war tactics and strategy.  They can also talk about how stupid Colin Farrell's hair looked in the movie.  
5. Bob Costas.  
   
    Obscure, right?  Well not really.  He knows SO much about just about everything.  That is exactly the type of person you need at a dinner party.  He can participate in every conversation.  I also like that he kind of looks like a bunny rabbit.  They have the same noses.
6. Drake.  After watching Saturday Night Live last week, I'm all in on Drake.  I'm a fan.  And I think we could be best friends.  You know, if an international hip hop star was looking to be friends with a 30-something suburban mom.  
7. Buddha.  Because Buddha is chill.  And when Pac and Alexander start raising their voices, we're gonna need someone to center us.  Also, after a few drinks, we can rub his belly for good luck.
8. Gloria Steinem.  Because she's a total BA and doesn't take crap from anyone.  I want her in my posse.  Which is weird, because TuPac totally degraded women...but we can talk about that over crab dip.

Obviously, if you are reading this, you are invited too.  Who are you bringing as your guest?  My only two restrictions are the Dyson vacuum guy (he's so conceited) and Biggie Smalls.  It's an east coast/west coast thing, y'all.