Omaha!

My baby wakes up and laughs hysterically in the middle of the night.  It's creepy and a tad bit terrifying.  There is nothing more unsettling than being woken from a deep sleep by toddler laughter at 4am.  There are two obvious answers to why this is happening: either she's crazy or we have a ghost.  Since we are trying to sell our house, I hope it's the former.

Okay, now that I have that off my chest, let's delve into the big sports weekend ahead of us, shall we?

Oklahoma State vs. Kansas.  So....this is going to be tough. For multiple reasons.  The biggest concern I have is play in the paint.  Losing Michael Cobbins hurts, but it really hurts against a team like KU with such a big and strong frontcourt.  Also, Marcus Smart did a back flip last year on their court, and apparently that made some people angry.  Note to self: gymnastics are frowned upon in Lawrence.

• Keys to victory: Nash needs no less than 10 points and must get to the line.  Markel and Smart need to just play their game, and we should be good.  The real key is Kamari Murphy, who I really think has a lot of potential.  If he can hold his own against Embiid and not get into foul trouble early, I think we've got a good shot.  It also might take a little divine intervention to pull off a victory.  And no, I'm not above praying for that.
• Why you should cheer for OSU: Kansas is basically Cobra Kai.  Big, strong, and powerful.  A history of winning.  Andrew Wiggins is Johnny: pretty and popular and needs to be knocked down a peg. Embiid is Bobby, the guy who hurts Daniel in the final tournament and gets kicked out.  No, seriously.  He elbows people in the face every game.  That's his "thing." And, of course OSU is Daniel Larusso.  The potential is there, but can they overcome the adversity of being kicked in the leg (Michael Cobbins' injury)?  The answer is yes.  Let's crane kick these fools.  Put 'em in a body bag!

Broncos vs. Patriots. Ol' Stiff Neck and the Receivers are in the AFC Championship Game.  They were preseason favorites, and so far, their destiny has been fulfilled.  Only Pretty Boy Chin Dimple and Coach Cut Off Sweatshirt stand in their way.  I feel confident about this game.  Because OSU didn't win the Big XII, ASU didn't win the Pac 12, and I didn't win any of my fantasy leagues.  So this is the team that's going to salvage football season for me.  It's called deductive reasoning, and it's going to prove true.  You just watch.

• Keys to Victory: If Peyton and Co. just do what they have been doing offensively, we'll be fine.  The key to winning will be defense, which could prove to be a challenge, since Brady apparently carries a magical angel in his pocket.  Control the run, and hold onto the ball, and don't do dumb stuff.
• Why you should cheer for the Broncos: They have such a lovable cast of characters.
• Peyton Manning.  Who doesn't love Peyton?  No one, that's who.  And besides, Tom Brady is too pretty.  I think we all know that pretty people are not to be trusted.  Peyton, on the other hand, with is giant forehead, is much more relatable.  He's just like you and I.  Except for that "one of the greatest quarterbacks ever" and multi-zillionaire thing, we are totally the same.
• Wes Welker.  First off, he's from Oklahoma, so you know he's a good egg.  Second, apparently, he's really funny per his Old Spice ads.  And finally, he's got a big magical helmet now, and that's fun.  Also, don't you remember when Giselle talked noise on Wes after Super Bowl XLVI?  Can't we all agree how heartwarming and good for America it would be if Wes were to catch the game winner on Sunday and then throw the ball in her stupid perfect jerkface? I think we can.
• Eric Decker. He's smokin' hot.  Ergo, he's better than any receiver on the Patriots.

So there you go.  Couldn't be laid out any clearer.  I feel good about going 2-0 this weekend.  Because I was dealt a big fat helping of humble, your-teams-can't-win-you-big-dumb-loser pie during December, and I'm ready to move on to the next course.

Go Pokes!  Go Broncos!  Go America!