Boy, you crazy. Smart, but crazy.

Are you ready for me to talk about three topics that have nothing to do with one another?  Oh you are?  You've been waiting all weekend for such a thing?  Wonderful.  I'm glad we're friends.  Actually, they all have one underlying theme: crazy!  Or cray as the kids say.  Kids still say that, right?

We've been refugees the last couple of weekends, bunking up at my mom's house.  Trying to sell our house, means we must take ferocious dog and tiny human out of home so it can be shown.  Seeing as we've been on the lam, our routine has been thrown off, leading to random TV viewing.  Example: I sucked Husband into three hours of programming titled, "Crimes of the Century" on CNN.  Good stuff.  We learned about the assassination of John Lennon, the attempted assassination of President Reagan, and the Amanda Knox trial.  In the midst of learning about John Hinckley, I turned to Husband and stated:

Me: If I could go back and tell my 20-year-old self to major in something different, I would tell her psychology.  I freakin' love crazy people.  Do you have any idea how much I would enjoy talking to crazy people every single day?
Husband: Technically, if you are helping them, you aren't supposed to call them crazy.
Me: Good point.  I'll let 20-year-old self know that too.

Along the same lines of "people on TV that are crazy," as I watched Girls last night I realized that the girl who plays Adam's sister was familiar to me.

Me: She was a child actor.  And she was in something I have seen many times....Oh my god, is that Curly Sue?
Husband: Calm down.  It's not Curly Sue.
*searches IMBD*
Husband: It's the little girl from Field of Dreams
Me: YES!  Obviously that fall from the bleachers really shook her up.  She doesn't even brush her hair anymore.

And finally, I feel like I have to address the Marcus Smart situation.  He acted a fool this weekend.  As once Kanye eloquently said, That ish cray.  Ain't it Jay?  B-ball so hard.  What she order, fish filet? Oh, does that not apply here?  Sorry.  Back to my point...As a fan, I feel a little conflicted.  There's no denying his talent.  But there's also no denying that he completely lost control on Saturday.

And now he has a reputation.  I've never rooted for the "bad guy" before.  Well, not that I can recall.  I typically try to forget about those things, makes for happier memories.

I can say with complete certainty, that if Smart played for any other team, I wouldn't like him.  He's kind of like Ginobili. Except not old or from Argentina.  You love him if he plays for you.  You loathe him as a competitor.  I'm still a fan, 100% of his, that's not ever going to change.  But I'd like to see a little maturity out of him the rest of the season.  Let this be his Tebow moment, minus the bloody nose.  Turn it around.  Get tough.  I'm not saying anything revolutionary here, every team will play him tough and aggressive from this point forward.  Every message board will be filled with hate.  But you what they say, haters gonna hate.  And by "they," I mean people in 1999.  Just play your game.  Get buckets.  (I follow a lot of basketball players on Twitter, and this seems to be a common message, so I'll just join in the fun.  I like to fit in).

I'm predicting big things out of #33 tonight.

In conclusion, a little bit of crazy is okay....just don't commit a crime.  And make sure you win.

And to quote my favorite crazy quote of all time, "At least I was crazy when crazy meant something, woman." -- Charles Manson.

You Are Cordially Invited

Last week, a friend posted a very sincere birthday wish to the one and only Dolly Parton on facebook.  It got me thinking...  Back when I wrote a blog that no one read, I wrote about who I would invite to a dinner party if I could ask anyone.  Since no one read that blog, I figured I'd revamp it a little.  Let's just call it a remix.

A popular interview question that people like to ask is, "If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?" And I think you are typically supposed to give answers like Gandhi, Mother Theresa, FDR, and the like.  BOR-ING.  And sure, Jesus is a go-to answer.  But can you imagine the pressure of that conversation?  Eeesh.  He already knows everything I'm doing, so I feel like I would just be explaining myself.  "I'm sorry, Lord.  I can't help cussing during sports.  I really am trying to stop...okay, that's a lie.  But I am sorry...okay, that's a lie too."

I think a better question is, "If you could have a dinner party, who would you invite?"  So here is my list, in no particular order, except for #1.

1. Eddie Sutton.  Let's just go ahead and establish that Eddie Sutton has an open invitation to come to my house at any time.  Looking for someone to eat spaghetti with?  I'm your girl.  Need a game-watching buddy?  Come on over.  Seriously coach, mi casa es su casa.
2.  Dolly Parton.  Why not?  She's fun and sassy and actually quite intelligent.  Besides, I know she could whip up some mean grits.  And every party needs grits. Am I right?
3. TuPac.  No explanation needed.  He just needs to be there. I'll be sure to stock up on Alize.
4. Alexander the Great.  I'm only throwing him in because of Husband.  Since I'm inviting all of my pretend best friends, I suppose I should let him have a guest too.  They can talk about battles and Macedonia, Aristotle and war tactics and strategy.  They can also talk about how stupid Colin Farrell's hair looked in the movie.  
5. Bob Costas.  
   
    Obscure, right?  Well not really.  He knows SO much about just about everything.  That is exactly the type of person you need at a dinner party.  He can participate in every conversation.  I also like that he kind of looks like a bunny rabbit.  They have the same noses.
6. Drake.  After watching Saturday Night Live last week, I'm all in on Drake.  I'm a fan.  And I think we could be best friends.  You know, if an international hip hop star was looking to be friends with a 30-something suburban mom.  
7. Buddha.  Because Buddha is chill.  And when Pac and Alexander start raising their voices, we're gonna need someone to center us.  Also, after a few drinks, we can rub his belly for good luck.
8. Gloria Steinem.  Because she's a total BA and doesn't take crap from anyone.  I want her in my posse.  Which is weird, because TuPac totally degraded women...but we can talk about that over crab dip.

Obviously, if you are reading this, you are invited too.  Who are you bringing as your guest?  My only two restrictions are the Dyson vacuum guy (he's so conceited) and Biggie Smalls.  It's an east coast/west coast thing, y'all.

Sports Shorts

Holy Smokes, it's already the end of the day.  Which means instead of going on and on like I usually do, you're going to get an abbreviated version of my sports wrap up.  I'll hit the highlights, and leave the rest on the cutting room floor.

1. Hurry! Hurry!  Hooray!  Peyton wins!  And now, I've gone over my limit of exclamation points for the week.  Seriously though, I'm totally stoked the Broncos crushed Tom Brady's wind pipe, figuratively speaking of course.  I had a happy household on my hands after the game.  The tiny human even gives high fives when good things happen.  She's worn her lucky outfit the last two weekends for game watching.  The top is too small. So I had a serious talk with her yesterday about not growing for two more weeks, so we can all wear our lucky shirts.  Husband suggested putting her on a diet, and I think he's probably right.  It's the Super Bowl, y'all, it's important! (shoot, another exclamation point).
2. Rock Chalk Jerk Face.  Wasn't thrilled with Saturday's game.  I was so disgusted at halftime that I went and washed my car.  And lo and behold the Cowboys started playing better.  So I texted Husband and told him I was just going to listen to the rest of the game in the car.  I drove around Stillwater, which isn't that big, for 20 minutes listening to the game, screaming, "GOT IT!" and "YESSSSSS!" as loud as I could.  When we were within 3, I got out of the car and came in.  Then we went down by 11.  So... I went back to the car.  I should have never left.  That loss was on me.  Also, can we stop with the KU of old stuff?  Back when Roy Williams was coaching, they had a pristine program with respectful young men who played the game right.  That's not how it is anymore, so enough with your hoity toity, "we are so disciplined" hoo-ha.  Self's got a bunch of punks playing for him, who don't know how to shut their pie holes.  Granted, they keep winning, so I suppose they don't have to.  And they are good, very good.  But long gone are the days of  Eric Cheonwith and Raef LaFrentz (yeah, I went there). And one more thing...Wiggins isn't your best player.  He's not even second best.  Underwelmed.  You just wait for March, ya jerks.
3. Jamaica!  How exciting is it that the Jamaican Bobsled Team qualified for the Olympics?  So great. I think I can speak for everyone when I say that Cool Runnings is one of the very best sports movies ever.  I cried when they carried their bobsled to the finish line.  Good stuff.  Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme!  Get on up, it's bobsled time!
4. The Beard Unites?  Nope.  The Beard divides.  Husband and I got into an actual argument last week about James Harden.  It was ridiculous.  If he would just see things the way I see them, everything would be perfect.  WHY IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND?  We want James to do well, but we are a Thunder household.  End of discussion.  We also had a heated discussion about the new Chicago Cubs mascot.  These are our problems.  Also, our dog won't stop pooping on the floor...so things could be better.

Okay, that's it.  Over and out.  From this point forward, just wear orange (Broncos and Pokes), gold (ASU, even though it looks horrible on everyone) or red/black and green (Jamaica!).

Omaha!

My baby wakes up and laughs hysterically in the middle of the night.  It's creepy and a tad bit terrifying.  There is nothing more unsettling than being woken from a deep sleep by toddler laughter at 4am.  There are two obvious answers to why this is happening: either she's crazy or we have a ghost.  Since we are trying to sell our house, I hope it's the former.

Okay, now that I have that off my chest, let's delve into the big sports weekend ahead of us, shall we?

Oklahoma State vs. Kansas.  So....this is going to be tough. For multiple reasons.  The biggest concern I have is play in the paint.  Losing Michael Cobbins hurts, but it really hurts against a team like KU with such a big and strong frontcourt.  Also, Marcus Smart did a back flip last year on their court, and apparently that made some people angry.  Note to self: gymnastics are frowned upon in Lawrence.

• Keys to victory: Nash needs no less than 10 points and must get to the line.  Markel and Smart need to just play their game, and we should be good.  The real key is Kamari Murphy, who I really think has a lot of potential.  If he can hold his own against Embiid and not get into foul trouble early, I think we've got a good shot.  It also might take a little divine intervention to pull off a victory.  And no, I'm not above praying for that.
• Why you should cheer for OSU: Kansas is basically Cobra Kai.  Big, strong, and powerful.  A history of winning.  Andrew Wiggins is Johnny: pretty and popular and needs to be knocked down a peg. Embiid is Bobby, the guy who hurts Daniel in the final tournament and gets kicked out.  No, seriously.  He elbows people in the face every game.  That's his "thing." And, of course OSU is Daniel Larusso.  The potential is there, but can they overcome the adversity of being kicked in the leg (Michael Cobbins' injury)?  The answer is yes.  Let's crane kick these fools.  Put 'em in a body bag!

Broncos vs. Patriots. Ol' Stiff Neck and the Receivers are in the AFC Championship Game.  They were preseason favorites, and so far, their destiny has been fulfilled.  Only Pretty Boy Chin Dimple and Coach Cut Off Sweatshirt stand in their way.  I feel confident about this game.  Because OSU didn't win the Big XII, ASU didn't win the Pac 12, and I didn't win any of my fantasy leagues.  So this is the team that's going to salvage football season for me.  It's called deductive reasoning, and it's going to prove true.  You just watch.

• Keys to Victory: If Peyton and Co. just do what they have been doing offensively, we'll be fine.  The key to winning will be defense, which could prove to be a challenge, since Brady apparently carries a magical angel in his pocket.  Control the run, and hold onto the ball, and don't do dumb stuff.
• Why you should cheer for the Broncos: They have such a lovable cast of characters.
• Peyton Manning.  Who doesn't love Peyton?  No one, that's who.  And besides, Tom Brady is too pretty.  I think we all know that pretty people are not to be trusted.  Peyton, on the other hand, with is giant forehead, is much more relatable.  He's just like you and I.  Except for that "one of the greatest quarterbacks ever" and multi-zillionaire thing, we are totally the same.
• Wes Welker.  First off, he's from Oklahoma, so you know he's a good egg.  Second, apparently, he's really funny per his Old Spice ads.  And finally, he's got a big magical helmet now, and that's fun.  Also, don't you remember when Giselle talked noise on Wes after Super Bowl XLVI?  Can't we all agree how heartwarming and good for America it would be if Wes were to catch the game winner on Sunday and then throw the ball in her stupid perfect jerkface? I think we can.
• Eric Decker. He's smokin' hot.  Ergo, he's better than any receiver on the Patriots.

So there you go.  Couldn't be laid out any clearer.  I feel good about going 2-0 this weekend.  Because I was dealt a big fat helping of humble, your-teams-can't-win-you-big-dumb-loser pie during December, and I'm ready to move on to the next course.

Go Pokes!  Go Broncos!  Go America!

The key to happy face smiley

This is my 100th blog post.  Big deal huh?  Big freakin' deal.  I decided on this monumental day, I would share with you the key to happiness that I discovered just last night.  It's my way of giving back to you.

Are you ready for it?

The key to happiness is...going to bed at 8 p.m.  Yep.  It literally is the best thing in the world.  My body is having an adverse reaction to Oklahoma per sinus infection/allergy attack/head-on-the-brink-of-exploding.  I'm currently in the pursuit of a doctor who will write me a note that says, "Kathy must spend her time at the beach until Oklahoma weather gets itself together."  Until then, I will just suffer.  I did however, go to bed at 8 p.m. last night.  It was kind of on accident, and it was glorious.  GLORIOUS, I tell you.  We should all be doing this.  I'm starting to see why old people turn in so early.  Isn't it an old Chinese proverb that with age comes wisdom?  Confucius say, your damn right it does.

Rolling along with the happy theme, here are a few other happiness-related items for your reading pleasure...

1. Seeing as I'm only paying a small fortune to have my kid in daycare, I decided to up the ante and get Mr. Bojangles enrolled in doggie daycare as well.  I've seen those Ticket Oak commercials, money does grow on trees.  The real reason he is going to Doggie Day Camp is because we are trying to sell our house and strangers cause Mr. B to bark a lot and run in circles at an incredible rate of speed. It's best for everyone if he is amongst his own kind.  Happiness takeaway: Mr. Bojangles gets to spend the whole day barking and smelling other dogs' butts, i.e. Utopia.

2. The novelty of my car reading my text messages to me has yet to wear off.  Two days ago, someone cussed in a text and I laughed and laughed at the GPS lady's interpretation of said word.  And this morning, I learned that she translates :) as "happy face smiley."  Can you imagine how she might translate other emoticons?  The suspense is killing me.  Happiness takeaway: Being easily amused by technology is a good thing for me.

3. I work with a lot of Sooners.  They don't necessarily love how much orange I wear, and it seems to perplex them. I assume they wonder what Husband wonders, "how does one person own SO many pieces of orange clothing?"  The answer, my friends, is dedication.  As I walked to the printer this morning, someone commented, "Look at you. In orange...again."  Kathy: "It's Game Day!"  And then I threw the guns up as I walked back to my desk.  Happiness takeaway: Not only am I supporting the Cowboys, I'm possibly annoying OU fans with all my orange.  And that my friends, is called winning on all aspects.

4. Husband and I had the following conversation on Sunday:

Kathy: I think she's in that 7 Years a Slave movie.  Or 12 Years.  Whatever.  7 Years with good behavior.
Husband: *no reaction*
Kathy: Did you not hear my joke?
Husband: What?  7 years with good behavior?
Kathy: Yes.  That was gold.
Husband: *no reaction*
Kathy: The world would be a better place if you thought I was as funny as I actually am.
Husband: I'll work on that.

Happiness takeaway: When Husband starts going to bed at 8 p.m., his mind will be more clear and open to the comedic genius that he lives with.

And One!

You don't have to say it.  I already know.  I've dropped the ball on my blogging.  Oddly enough, I've been very busy.  And for two days to start the week, I played accountant.  I was crunching numbers and adding credits and debits.  I wore one of those green visors and used an adding machine.  Just kidding, I used an abacus. I lost my focus, and for that I apologize.

I was also in an every-team-I-cheer-for-loses funk for a good five days.  It was as if I was living in the early 90's again.  God bless.

But I was pulled out of my funk last night with a Cowboy victory over the Longhorns.  This grizzly bear has emerged from hibernation.

Last night, a super fan sat behind me.  She was by herself, but was cheering enough for four.  She irritated me, but I tried to be lenient.  It's good to be a fan.  It's good to be a positive fan, who is excited for the team. But, man alive, her voice was more than I could handle.  She didn't have a good sports-yelling voice.  And she also yelled "Play Tough!" a lot.  Play tough?  What kind of advice is that?  It's not even specific.  To me, "play tough" means a hard elbow to the clavicle and swift kick in the pants.  And that typically results in a flagrant 1.

So seeing as I am basically the perfect college basketball fan and not annoying to anyone who sits around me, I thought I'd share with you how I cheer for basketball.  Think of it as Kathy's Guide to Getting the Most Enjoyment Out of the Game.

1. Fouling.  I think that any contact with our players warrants a foul called.  I let the officials know by screaming, "Foul!  Foul!"; "That's a foul!"; or "CALL THE FOUL!"  You know I'm serious when I switch from statements to commands.
2. Free throws.  When the officials are doing their jobs, and correctly call a foul on a made shot, I alert everyone in my section as to what will happen next.  "And one! AND ONE!"  I always say it twice, and really emphasize the second one.  Sometimes, if I'm really excited, I will stand up and imitate the officials call, by moving my right arm in an emphatic motion.  Thank God the people in section 212 have me, or else they wouldn't know what to expect.
3. Calling the shot.  I'm a fan of calling shots before they go in.  I promise you, on everything that is holy, it is involuntary.  When a good looking three pointer leaves the shooter's hands, my arms go up, and I call it.  Imagine my disappointment when they don't fall.  For I am the fool in the stands with her arms raised straight in the air.
4. My all-time favorite thing to scream repetitively is, "REBOUND!"  I'd say in any given game, I yell that at least 29 times.  And it infuriates me when 1.) Shooters don't follow their shot or 2.) Defenders are out-rebounded because they are standing flat-footed.  If I was anywhere close to the court, I would grab the basketball and throw it as hard as I could at their faces to get my point across.  Because apparently, I'm Bobby Knight.
5. I honestly believe with all of my heart that there is no better place on earth than Gallagher Iba Arena when it's a close game and the crowd is amped.  I get a little choked up every time it's like that.  It's so wonderful.  Seriously, being able to scream at the top of your lungs with thousands of other people.  Nothing better.  I've been known, from time to time, to get light-headed from yelling so loudly.  This happens every time we play Kansas.  I jump up and down, like I'm jumping rope, and if Husband is standing next to me, I pull on his shirt in a, "Can you believe how amazing life is right now?" way.  I wish I could spend every day of my life jumping up and down and screaming.  Unfortunately, I've yet to find a way to get paid to do that, and I'd more than likely miss out on all of my child's life. So I'll settle for five or six times a year.
6. When I'm watching from home, I really up my game.  Here's how:
1. I yell WAY more.  And I have a constant chatter going.  I'm positive it's not annoying at all to watch basketball with me.
2. I jump up and point at the TV.  "Yeah, that's on you, buddy!"  I'll yell, with my finger pointing at the opponent.  Because I'm certifiably insane, and that's what crazy people do.
3. And as of last weekend, I apparently call charges from the couch.  By "call," I mean, I actually go through the physical motions of assessing a charge to the opponent.  In case you would like to do the same, you hold your left arm (bent at the elbow) against your body, while forcefully punching your right arm in front of you.  If you were feeling especially passionate about the call, you could hop on your left foot and simultaneously land on your right while punching the air.  That's how the pros do it.  I'm not quite there yet.

After reading through my rules to happy viewing, I'm starting to think I might be obnoxious.  Maybe Little Miss Play Tough was sent to remind me that I  drive everyone around me crazy.  There's probably some little chippy writing a blog about that annoying "and one" girl as we speak.  Maybe I should tone it down.  

Not gonna happen.

CALL THE FOUL!

Smoke the Tigers

I cannot take you seriously in that mock turtleneck.  This is not a respectable item of clothing.  It's a shirt that couldn't quite commit to what it wanted to be, so it quit halfway through.  Why do coaches love mock turtlenecks?  It's like baseball players and their big gold chains.  You guys are supposed to be the coolest guys in the room, stop dressing like Kenny Powers.

So this is my last OSU football post of the season.  Kind of sad, huh?  Luckily, basketball season is upon us and we can all focus on that.  I've been asked no less than four dozen times if I was going to the Cotton Bowl.  Each time, I shamefully answer, "no."  With a limited amount of vacation time, I had to pick one sport to follow into the post season, and I chose Cowboy Basketball.  So if a certain backup point guard could stop smoking weed, that'd be great.

You know how yesterday I said I don't cheer for conferences as a whole?  Well, after last night's game and OU's shellacking of Alabama, I can say with complete confidence that I do cheer against conferences as a whole.  As I listened to the national announcers and followed along as sports pundits from across the country watched dumbfounded, I got more and more annoyed.  "It looks like maybe Alabama was overrated all year," they sputtered.  Oh yeah?  You made that decision 3 1/2 quarters in?  Maybe you shouldn't have crowned the prom queen before the school year even started.

Speaking of prom queen, let me shed a little light on my feelings about Missouri.  Missouri is Lindsay Lohan.  I should clarify, they are Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls.  The Big XII are Janis and Damien.  Missouri gets lured away by the Plastics (SEC), and just leaves us behind, caught up in all the glamour of their new popularity.  Out of nowhere, Missouri gets vaulted to Queen Bee because Georgia (Regina George) gets fat (riddled with injuries).  And now we're all supposed to believe that Missouri is the hottest girl in school.  Ummmm, it wasn't that long ago that she was wearing a XXL pink polo.  And she's a Mathlete.  But just you wait Missouri, the Burn Book just got turned into Mr. Duvall's office.  It's about to get real.  Your reign as queen of the Plastics is coming to an end.

In all seriousness, I don't know that much about Missouri.  I stopped paying attention to them when they left the Big XII.  I've got an art show to focus on...just kidding, I promise that's my last Mean Girls reference.  They have had a good season, and from what I understand they never blitz. And that's about all I know about them.

If the Cowboys play like they did against Baylor and Tech, this should be enjoyable to watch.  Quarterback draws, running north/south, and taking shots down the field...those are my keys to success.  If the Pokes play like they did against WVU, OU, or TCU, I'll more than likely stomp my feet and string together 12 cuss words at a time...in a whisper of course.  I refer to it as Whisper Rage.  Noun.  What Kathy does when her sports teams aren't performing up to their capabilities and her child is asleep.  It's often brought on by 3-and-outs, poor special teams execution, and blown coverages.  So let's keep those to a minimum, huh?  I feel hopeful with a bit of trepidation...so I'm basically in the same frame of mind I always am before kickoff.

Let's go Cowboys, show me that late November team still exists.  Beat Mizzou.

P.S. Gundy, that mock turtleneck is so fetch.

A girl and her TV

Surprise!  It's Thursday and I'm writing a blog.  How'd you get so lucky?  For I do not know.  Something else I don't know: when fortune cookies stopped giving fortunes and replaced them with proverbs and advice.  Sure, I'm a wise and helpful friend, but what will happen tomorrow?  Will I win the lottery or not?  Give me the answers to the future, small delicious cookie!  Last week, Husband got one that said something to the effect, "Good lumberjacks have sharp saws."  Come on.  That isn't a fortune.  And I'm positive that Confucius didn't say that.  Big fat fail, fortune cookie.

Moving on...my blogging goal for the week was to write my random blog on Monday (check) and then give my thoughts and insight into OSU on Friday.  But then I fell ill and spent approximately 52 hours in bed, and I really felt the need to tell you all about what I learned on tv.  Forget books, the television is where all the good info is.

1. You really can learn from The Learning Channel.  I dedicated several hours to programming on TLC, including 3 hours to My 600 lb. Life.  Oh dear.  This show.  It was...I don't even know how to explain my emotions, but it definitely filled the void that has been left since Intervention went off the air.  The gist was that several people who weighed more than 600 lbs received gastric bypass surgery in 2004.  The show follows their journeys for seven years post surgery.  Fascinating.  Imagine my surprise and delight when I saw that after the 600 lb. marathon was a show titled, 900 lbs. a race against the clock (or something like that).  I watched approximately two and a half minutes of the 900 lb. man in Guam, and then had to turn it off.  Lesson learned: 653 lbs, okay.  900 lbs., too  much to process.

I also watched a special about people who don't age.  There was a woman in Brazil who is the same size as my 15 month old, but she's 31.  She loves to sweep the floor, is apparently "extremely vain," and looks like a baby.  My mind was blown.

2. My other guilty pleasure is prison shows.  At this point, I'm sure you are asking yourself, "What the hell is wrong with this girl?"  No one knows.  No one.  I also really like to read books about serial killers.  I'm not like other kids.  Anyway, I watched a little Lock Up on MSNBC...and it was everything I had hoped for.  The highlight was the focus on a relationship between two prisoners, Casper and Cash.  Cash was a young man who was spending time in prison because he tried to buy $700 worth of gift cards with stole credit cards.  At 2am.  While drunk.  He admitted it wasn't his best decision.  He also thought of himself as a young lady.  He was in love with the inmate in the adjoining cellblock, Casper.  They often bickered because Cash was such a flirt.  Exasperated with the situation, Casper exclaimed, "I just don't understand women!"  It was a true quality television moment for me.

3. And finally, I filled all the other time with watching football.  I was, of course, disappointed in ASU getting drilled by Texas Tech.  They were outcoached by Ryan Gosling.  The centaur, Jace Amaro, galloped all over my Sun Devils.  Sigh.

All the other games were pretty enjoyable to watch. According to Twitter, there were two distinct sides OSU fans fell on in regards to the Fiesta Bowl: wanting Baylor to be beaten badly or cheering for Baylor because they are in the Big XII.  I found myself in the former.  I just don't get cheering for a team because they are in your conference.  Yes, the more Big XII teams that lose, the worse the conference looks.  But I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret...the Big XII wasn't any good this year.  The jig is up.  And I'm not cheering for anyone unless it directly benefits Oklahoma State.  Because I'm an immature fan who is still bitter about Bedlam.  We should have won Bedlam, we should have won the Big XII and we should have been Fiesta Bowl bound.  But we weren't.  So watching Baylor get beat by a directional school in a schizo conference somehow made me feel better.  I can't explain my feelings, this is just who I am.

See you guys tomorrow when we talk OSU.

And Roll Tide.